


Storm Flower.

by WhisperLucifer



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Age Difference, Alternate Universe, Angst, Attempted Rape/Non-Con, CEO!Kai, Drama, Fluff, Happy Ending, Homelessness, Kinda, M/M, Probably cliche in places tbh, Prostitution, Romance, Slow Burn, There's no actual rape scene in this fic, Violence
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-06
Updated: 2019-01-06
Packaged: 2019-10-05 19:11:27
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 6
Words: 32,420
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17330747
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WhisperLucifer/pseuds/WhisperLucifer
Summary: Wherein Kyungsoo is struggling to survive without so much as a roof over his head, selling his body so he doesn't starve to death- and Jongin is so much more than just a handsome stranger in an expensive suit.





	1. One.

**Author's Note:**

> Hello!  
> I've had quite a few people asking me about this fic, so here it is.  
> Again I'd like to point out that even though I've tagged this fic as rape/non-con, there's no actual non-con scene in this fic, but it is attempted, and the violence isn't continuous- I just thought I should tag it, just in case. So please don't read if you think that might trigger you in any way.   
> Please take care of yourselves ♡
> 
> Also, this story is in no way written with the intention of causing offense to anybody, and I've tried to write it as realistically/sensitively as possible, so please no needlessly cruel comments. Enjoy ♡♡

 

  

**_‘There is never a time or place for true love._ **

**_It happens accidentally, in a heartbeat, in a single flashing,_ **

**_Throbbing moment.’_ **

**_\- Sarah Dessen, The Truth About Forever._ **

  
  


 

*****

    Kyungsoo sighed sadly as he searched the aisles of the small convenience store he was in, looking for reduced price…well, anything edible really.

He didn't have much money – right now not even enough to buy him a burger and fries from the local burger joint, which was a shame because he missed hot food _so much_ – but he was so incredibly hungry he’d had cramps pretty much all day to go alongside the dizzy spells he’d been having on and off for weeks.

Kyungsoo tried not to think about how long he’d been this way – little more than a street rat – but winter had come and passed three times since he’d taken a leap of faith and come to Seoul to try his luck at becoming an actor. Of course he’d never made it, and his faith no longer existed.

He’d lost his job at the lively coffee shop he’d been waiting tables at and then been evicted from his tiny apartment because he couldn't keep up with the rent and refused to do sexual favours for his landlord; oh how times had changed since then.

Now winter was well on its way again and Kyungsoo was worried about how he was going to keep warm enough to stave off hypothermia or pneumonia.

He already had a nasty chest infection that he couldn't afford to buy medication for thanks so a lack of _business_ lately, and feeling so unwell all the time made him miss home and his family more than ever.

Not that he had a home anymore, or a family for that matter.

Both his parents and his older brother had been killed in a plane crash years ago on their way back towards the airport home after being on holiday – whilst Kyungsoo was studying hard to _make it big_ – and they were the only family he ever remembered having.

He’d never really had any friends – not even the people he’d worked with – which was why he’d had nobody to turn to when everything had been pulled out from underneath him and he no longer had a roof over his head or enough food in his belly to even satisfy a small child, let alone a twenty-one year old man.

In the beginning, Kyungsoo had tried to survive by doing odd jobs for anybody who would either give him any spare change that they had or would feed him something more than a candy bar, but in the end he’d become one of the forgotten souls of the city, one of the night workers- a _prostitute_.

It was the only way he could get any money at all now to survive.

Despite the tragic catastrophe that he knew his life was, Kyungsoo tried his best to keep his head held high and not complain – not that anybody would really listen to the _dirty hooker_ anyway – but that didn't mean that it wasn't hard sometimes…most of the time, actually.

The loneliness and fear that followed Kyungsoo around like a dark foreboding cloud, was almost as painful as the hunger cramps.

The loud grumble of his empty stomach broke Kyungsoo’s thoughts, and he blushed hotly when the woman nearby glared at him in obvious distaste as she handed her toddler a candy bar as they walked by him.

Grabbing a few cheap bars of chocolate, some savoury crackers and a small bottle of water, Kyungsoo headed to the cashier, trying to ignore the way people stared at him as he paid for what was probably the only food he was likely to eat all week that wasn't out of a dumpster.

“Excuse me,” Kyungsoo said quietly as he took his small bag from the cashier, “Is there a restroom here I could use?”

“Sure, in the back.” The cashier told him, nodding his head in the direction of the staff room, “Don't be long though.”

“I won’t.” Kyungsoo smiled, “Thanks.”

Using the toilet as quickly as he could – and thanking heaven for small mercies that he wouldn't have to take a shit in an alleyway somewhere – Kyungsoo then grabbed a roll of toilet paper, knowing that he could stuff his clothes with it later to help keeping warm.

He had a _client_ lined up, somebody one of his _co-workers_ saw pretty regularly and apparently always wore a navy blue suit and wanted _something different_ tonight; meaning something male rather than female.

But if this suit didn't show, Kyungsoo was going to be out in the cold all night, and so needed as much help as he could get- he also took a cake of soap from beside one of the sinks, slipping it into his bag with the toilet paper and trying not to feel guilty for stealing.

Catching sight of himself in the mirror above the sink, it was all Kyungsoo could do not to break down and cry; his black hair was oily, matted and stuck to his head in some places, his skin was so dirty he was starting to forget what colour it used to be, and his clothes were tattered and torn but he had no thread to stitch them up.

No wonder people looked at him like he was something nasty they’d stepped in; he had no idea how his clients even stomached _looking_ at him like this, let alone touch him.

Blinking back the sudden burn of tears because emotions were worthless to him now, Kyungsoo set the hot tap running and grabbed the nearest cake of soap, scrubbing at all the places he could get to easily – including his hair – before drying himself off with the hand dryer as best he could.

Rummaging in his bag to retrieve the things he needed for work – eyeliner, lip gloss and blusher – Kyungsoo applied them as quickly and carefully as he could whilst still trying to dry his hair.

He _needed_ that client tonight.

“Hey kid, are you still-“ the cashier started as he walked into the room, cutting himself short when he saw what Kyungsoo was doing, “What the hell do you think you’re doing?”

“I’m sorry I just-“ Kyungsoo started, but the man grabbed him and dragged him out of the bathroom before he could explain himself.

“This isn’t a hotel you worthless shit,” the man snapped as he shoved Kyungsoo forcefully out of the door and into the street, “And stay the hell out!”

Ignoring the people staring Kyungsoo hung his head as he all but ran down the street, he had to get to the business district anyway to meet his client; apparently he’d be waiting at the car park when night fell.

Not really knowing what else to do when he got there but wait, Kyungsoo wandered up and down the street that ran the length of the car park, trying not to cough too loud and put the man off before he’d even seen him.

Being a _whore_ in a nice area of town tended to get you noticed though, and Kyungsoo saw the way the well dressed people on the street no doubt heading home to their mansions eyed him distastefully as they passed him.

He especially hated businessmen, they were rude and arrogant, and one of the reasons he was stuck in this hell dimension version of his life in the first place. Years ago Kyungsoo had learned to harden his heart against the world that did nothing but hurt him, and he never let anybody close who seemed too good to be true; because usually, they were.

Spotting a man in a nice looking navy blue suit standing just across the street from him, Kyungsoo made his way over, swallowing the bile of what he’d been reduced to, to smile confidently.

“Hello handsome, I was starting to think you wouldn't show.” Kyungsoo all but purred, pressing up close to him, “But I’m so glad you did- where would you like to do this?”

“Go where to do what?” the man asked, confused, “Do I know you?”

“Well we can hardly have sex out in the street now can we sugar?” Kyungsoo smirked, “So where do you want to go?”

That was when things went terribly wrong.

“I’m waiting here for my _wife_ you fucking whore!” the man shouted, “How dare you presume I would give you money for _anything_ let alone sex?”

“I’m sorry, I’m so sorry I had no idea-“ Kyungsoo rambled, suddenly afraid, “I thought you um…I thought you were my client for the night and- well I’ve been sick lately…it was just a mistake.”

“Filthy street rat!” the man shouted, following his words with a sharp backhand to Kyungsoo’s face that sent him stumbled sideways, “Prowling the city and passing on diseases and assuming that _I_ would be a dirty faggot like you!”

The man was so angry, and it showed in the blows that kept coming, until Kyungsoo was curled up on the concrete around his small bag of belongings wishing for it to just end.

Only when the beating suddenly ceased did Kyungsoo dare look up, to see his assailant being dragged away by an incredibly attractive man in a dark grey, pinstripe suit that almost matched the (clearly) dyed silver of his hair.

“What the hell do you think you’re doing?” the handsome stranger asked, his voice calm but thick with danger, “I’m the one who hired the hooker so back off- I want to get my money’s worth if it’s all the same with you.”

“S-sorry I didn't- sorry.“ the other man muttered, clearly recognising Kyungsoo’s _rescuer_ because even _he_ got an apology before navy blue suit was all but running away to meet his wife elsewhere.

“Are you alright?” Mr _nice guy_ asked, and though Kyungsoo let the man help him up off the ground, his defences automatically threw themselves up- they always did.

“Fine, but you shouldn't have gotten involved,” Kyungsoo snapped, “Now I’ve lost any chance at convincing that guy to be a client for me.”

“So you _are_ a hooker?” the man asked, gazing down at him with eyes an incredible shade of blue-grey Kyungsoo had never seen before in his life.

“I prefer sex worker.” Kyungsoo said, nose in the air as he walked away before the man could say any more.

“You’re welcome, y’know, for me helping you out of trouble!”

Kyungsoo rolled his eyes, “I didn't say thank you!”

He kept walking and the stranger didn't follow, and Kyungsoo found himself thinking that the guy really was as arrogant as the rest of them if he thought Kyungsoo should be _grateful_ that he cost him a potential client.

_Still, he was gorgeous though_ , Kyungsoo thought, then pushed it aside as quickly as it arrived, sighing heavily because he knew he had to lie low for at least a few hours to recover from his impromptu punishment for being a soul that the city forgot.

Moving as quickly as he could and breathing through the pain, Kyungsoo hoped he could find an empty alleyway or shop doorway to sleep in before night truly fell and blanketed the city in blackness; he never did feel safe wandering the streets so late, despite his _profession_ and the fact that those very streets had been his home for the last few years.

Curling up in the farthest corner of the first deserted alleyway he found, behind a large dumpster, Kyungsoo set about pulling on the only thin jumper he owned, and stuffing it with the toilet paper he’d stolen after wiping the blood from his face with it – though if his shivering was anything to go by it wasn't going to do much good tonight – before eating his snacks slowly to savour the taste of something fresh before curling up as small as he could, singing softly to himself between violent coughing fits, in the hope that it would somehow soothe him to sleep.

Yes, Kyungsoo really did hate businessmen.

*****

    Kyungsoo woke suddenly from dreams of soft beds and hot food to the sound of rain pelting against the rusting metal of the dumpster he’d been sleeping beside.

Looking up to the sky Kyungsoo couldn't see the stars for the thick blanket of cloud that told him the storm was probably here for the night; he needed to find shelter, and quickly.

Running through rain so heavy he could barely see through it, Kyungsoo had no idea what time it was, only that it must be late because the streets were empty and all he could hear was the sound of water hitting the pavement and his own heavy breathing and chesty coughing.

Soaked to the bone and shivering violently, Kyungsoo ran into a large parking lot where people sometimes left their cars over night when they’d been out drinking with friends, searching each of them desperately in the hope that one of them was unlocked.

Stumbling from car to car, Kyungsoo wanted to cry in relief when he found one that was unlocked, throwing himself into the back seat and slamming the door behind him, curling up in the farthest corner and shaking as he listened to the rain battering down on the roof.

Safe from the storm, Kyungsoo must have fallen asleep again, because the next thing he knew he was jumping awake when the door on the driver’s side opened and a man who couldn't have been more than around thirty slid into the front seat.

The man had deep silver hair that reminded Kyungsoo of a heavy storm in the middle of summer, a tan complexion and – he noticed when the stranger turned to look at him in complete shock – the biggest, most beautifully clear grey-blue eyes Kyungsoo had ever seen.

_It’s the guy from the car park,_ Kyungsoo realised with horror, _the nice guy!_

“Excuse me but,” the man started, “what are you doing in my car?”

The deep sound of his voice startled Kyungsoo, and he immediately moved to scramble out of the back door, terrified of the trouble he was sure he was in- especially as he’d already been rude to this person once.

“I’m sorry, I’m so sorry.” He rambled tearfully, “I wasn't stealing or anything I promise, but your car was unlocked and I just- I really needed a place to sleep away from the storm.”

Coughing, sneezing and almost falling out of the car into the still pouring rain in his hurry to get out of the way, Kyungsoo couldn't help the whimper of fear that escaped his lips when the guy caught up to him and grabbed him.

“Hey, stop struggling, hey, _stop_!” the man shouted when Kyungsoo fought to get away from him, “I’m not going to hurt you I promise.”

He sounded so sincere that Kyungsoo stopped fighting almost immediately.

“My name is Jongin.” The man said, raising his voice so that he could be heard over the rain, “What’s yours?”

Eyeing him warily, Kyungsoo saw nothing but genuine curiosity and concern in the stranger’s pale eyes, and so answered him timidly.

“K-Kyungsoo. Are you going to call the cops?”

“No, I’m not.” Jongin smiled, “I’m going to ask you if you need a place to stay.”

“Don't patronize me, please.” Kyungsoo said frostily, pulling away from Jongin because he knew it was more than obvious that he needed somewhere to stay.

“I wasn't, honestly.” Jongin insisted, throwing his hands up in mock surrender, “But when I was taking a break from work earlier I found you getting attacked, then hours later when I finally get _off_ work I find you sleeping in the back of my car so…yeah. The car is great and all but a bed is much more comfortable, and I’ve got plenty of space if you need a place to stay.”

“Seriously?” Kyungsoo gasped, unable to comprehend the offer he was being given.

“Seriously.” Jongin nodded, “I live alone so, the company wouldn't go amiss either.”

Kyungsoo wanted to trust this guy – this _Jongin_ – he really did, but how could he when every other big-shot businessman he’d ever crossed paths with had been nothing more than a self-serving asshole?

“The offer is nice and all sir-“

“Jongin, please. Just call me Jongin.”

“ _Jongin,_ but nobody really wants to help a whore- so no thanks.” Kyungsoo said, his words sending shock – and what looked like sadness – rippling across Jongin’s handsome face at his refusal.

Kyungsoo decided he really must be sick to hallucinate a rich guy actually _wanting_ him around.

“Then…let me buy your time instead?” Jongin suggested after a moments pause, “I’ll pay you to stay at my place all night.”

Kyungsoo frowned, suspicious but intrigued, “How much?”

“Would this suffice?” Jongin asked with a charming smile, producing so many bills from his wallet it made Kyungsoo’s eyes go a little wide.

“That’s a lot of money for one night…did I hear you right? You really want to pay for me to spend the night.”

Jongin nodded, “I want to pay for you to be mine for the night.”

Kyungsoo knew what _mine for the night_ meant in the his world surviving in Seoul’s underbelly, but still he couldn't help but consider what Jongin was offering him in return. A place to stay dry, and warm bed to sleep in, perhaps even the chance of a cooked meal; it was all too much to take in, and an opportunity he wasn't likely to come across again.

Usually strangers were anything _but_ kind to the wandering souls like him.

“Okay. You can pay for me for the whole night, deal.” Kyungsoo nodded.

“Deal.” Jongin smiled, motioning for him to get back into the car, this time in the passenger seat.

Kyungsoo figured that whatever Jongin wanted in return for his kindness would be worth it for a roof over his head tonight.

*****

    “Okay so, here are your towels and some pyjamas,” Jongin told him as he led him into the bathroom where the bath was already running, “They’ll be baggy on you but they’re warm and dry, make sure to help yourself to whatever body wash you like, take your time and…I’ll order pizza.”

“Pizza, really?” Kyungsoo asked, unable to hide the excitement in his voice at the prospect of being fed something so delicious.

“Yeah, is that a bad choice?” Jongin asked, “I’m not home all that much due to work and haven’t got much food in so-“

“No, no it’s fine, _more_ than fine I just-” Kyungsoo mumbled, feeling strangely shy and a little embarrassed, “Pizza is hot food and it’s been so long since-“

Kyungsoo trailed off, unsure of what to say, but his heart fluttered unexpectedly when Jongin smiled warmly at him as he shut off the water.

“Enjoy your bath Kyungsoo,” Jongin told him kindly, “Just shout if you need anything.”

Kyungsoo nodded silently, watching Jongin leave the room before stripping off his beyond dirty clothes – flushing away the sodden toilet roll he’d stuffed in there earlier – before sinking into the warm, bubbly water and wanting to cry at just how good in felt on his frozen skin.

The dense layer of white bubbles made the whole room smell like eucalyptus and rosemary, and Kyungsoo wondered if he really had died and gone to heaven as he sank lower in the tub and sighed contently at the way his entire body relaxed for the first time in forever.

He had no idea why Jongin had brought him into his home – his fancy penthouse apartment that looked like something straight out of a movie with a view of the city skyline to die for – most people wouldn't dream of letting a common prostitute into their home, and he had no idea what kind of person Jongin really was; but Kyungsoo figured that if he wasn't a serial killer then he must be an angel of some kind to find a dirty, bloodied up _hooker_ in the back of his car and wanting to help him when Kyungsoo had refused it once rather than just throwing him back out into the storm that he could still hear raging outside the bathroom window.

The only worry Kyungsoo had was that he had no idea how he was going to thank Jongin for being so unexpectedly wonderful. Obviously he would want sex, but Kyungsoo didn't know what kind of sex Jongin would want; he didn't have much in the way of energy right now, so he only hoped Jongin wouldn't be demanding and sometimes almost violent like some of his other clients.

“Kyungsoo? Kyungsoo are you okay in there?” Jongin’s voice called from beyond the door, shocking him awake for the second time that night and causing him to swallow a large mouthful of water.

Coughing and spluttering, Kyungsoo splashed around in a bit of a panic; he didn't even remember falling asleep.

“What happened, are you alright?” Jongin asked as he rushed into the room looking worried.

“Fine, I’m fine. I just swallowed some water that’s all.” Kyungsoo said, trying to get his coughing under control, “I fell asleep… sorry.”

“Don't be, I didn't mean to startle you, I just came to tell you that the food’s here.”

“Oh, I’d better get a move on then.”

“There’s no rush, really.” Jongin assured him, that same kind, warm smile on his handsome face.

Kyungsoo shivered slightly – the water had cooled whilst he’d been dozing – and couldn't help but smile slightly when Jongin noticed, draining some water out of the tub and topping it back up with more hot water.

“Do you want some help getting cleaned up?” Jongin asked, “Seeing as though you’re half asleep and all. I don't want you to drown in my bathtub.”

“Sure, I guess.” Kyungsoo nodded, a little confused still but smiling in response to Jongin’s soft laughter, despite his head sending warning signals in every direction, “I’m yours for the night, remember?”

Jongin nodded, “I remember.”

Squeezing some exotic scented body wash onto a cloth, Jongin set about washing him thoroughly but gently – his strong hands feeling wonderful on Kyungsoo’s sore body – and he couldn't help but notice that Jongin didn't once try to touch him anywhere that would be considered too intimate, moving instead to shampoo and rinse his unruly mop of black hair.

It was an odd experience, to say the least.

“Let’s get your battle wounds taken care of shall we?” Jongin asked when Kyungsoo was out of the tub, wrapped in a warm fluffy towel and perched on the end of Jongin’s king-sized bed, “I’m so sorry Kyungsoo, that this happened to you- that you had to deal with such an asshole.”

“S’okay.” Kyungsoo mumbled as Jongin cleaned his cuts and treated his bruises with such tenderness it made him sigh softly, “I’m used to it.”

Jongin frowned, “That doesn't make it okay.”

It was so strange to Kyungsoo, how considerate – how _caring_ – Jongin was being when they were little more than complete strangers, and he couldn't help but wonder – on the off chance that he _didn't_ want sex – what he would want from him in return for such compassion.

Sex was the one thing Kyungsoo _could_ give to him as thanks – it was what he was being paid for after all – but still he dared to hope that Jongin was different somehow. He sure seemed different than most, and it made Kyungsoo truly hope for the first time in years that not all men were the same-

And that Jongin really did just want to help him in an hour of need, as unlikely as that may seem.

*****

    After having his wounds dressed, Kyungsoo had been surprised when yet again not only had Jongin turned his back to allow him to towel himself dry and re-dress in his borrowed pyjamas in privacy, but had also then got him settled in the living room in front of the television after going so far as to blow-dry his hair for him so that he’d be more comfortable.

Jongin then laid out several different boxes of pizza – plus fries and soda – in front of him on the coffee table, and Kyungsoo swore he was almost drooling just from the smell.

“I didn't know what you’d like so-“ Jongin laughed almost nervously, “I got several different ones and hoped at least one would be right.”

Kyungsoo smiled as he opened the lid to the nearest box, “Ah spicy chicken,” he sighed, “My absolute favourite.”

“Really?” Jongin asked, looking surprised, “Mine too.”

“I guess we're not as different as I first thought.” Kyungsoo joked, but fell quiet when he saw the serious look shadowing Jongin’s face.

“I never assumed we were.” Jongin said, then smiled brightly, “Help yourself Kyungsoo, and don't be shy about eating a lot,” Jongin told him as he grabbed himself a slice of pepperoni pizza, “I know you must be hungry.”

Kyungsoo was never one to look a gift horse in the mouth, and so did exactly as he was told, filling himself with as much takeout food as he could, partly because he didn't know how long it would be before he could eat like this again, but mostly because he was so hungry and it tasted so good that he just couldn't bring himself to slow down.

As they ate they talked about things that were pretty inconsequential for the most part, but Kyungsoo _did_ discover that Jongin was twenty-eight years old, and the incredibly powerful CEO of KA-I Industries (Kim Artificial Intelligence Industries); no wonder _navy blue suit_ had left in such a hurry before, KA-I had been slowly taking over the country’s market for the last few years- or so he’d seen on discarded newspapers and bulletin boards across the city.

It wasn't exactly a secret, _private_ piece of information to share.

Kyungsoo didn't share much about himself either though – no good would come of spilling his past here – but told Jongin that he’d been alone for a good long while and he supported himself in the only way he knew how; the only way he was _good_ at, despite ‘business’ being in a bit of a slump, thanks to his chest infection.

“I feel so sick now.” Kyungsoo groaned, finally admitting defeat even though there was still a substantial amount of pizza left over.

“It’s okay if you’re full, you can just eat the rest of it later or tomorrow.” Jongin told him, “I’m not going to take it away from you, Kyungsoo.”

“I know, and thanks Jongin, for doing this.” Kyungsoo told him, unsure of what to say to truly express his thanks, “You didn't have to take me in tonight but I’ll be forever thankful that you did.”

Jongin just smiled beautifully at him, and Kyungsoo felt that saying thank you just wasn't enough, didn't think it properly expressed how truly grateful he was for this alien kindness.

But what else could he do? He had nothing to offer Jongin and it made him feel guilty, like he was using the other man somehow despite knowing in his heart that that wasn't what it was at all.

Kyungsoo was just trying to survive, fighting for his own meagre place in this cruel world.

But Jongin had willingly _paid_ for him to be here, he’d even looked pleased when he’d accepted his offer, and so Kyungsoo had done everything he’d asked him to; bathed, eaten, sat with him talking about nothing important to pass the time.

Not knowing what else he was supposed to do now, Kyungsoo leaned forwards, pressing a kiss into Jongin’s neck, but the Jongin pulled away after barely a whisper of a moment, looking all kinds of confused.

“What are you doing?” Jongin asked when Kyungsoo started unbuttoning his pyjama shirt as fast as his suddenly trembling fingers would allow.

Even after all this time, the fear never numbed completely.

“I… I have n-nothing to offer you Jongin a-and well… I’m no good at anything else but t-this is the part of the n-night where I’m supposed to t-thank you for being so nice to m-me. You did pay me after all…” Kyungsoo stuttered, blinking rapidly when his nerves kicked in the way they always did when he had to offer his body to strangers in return for something he desperately needed (usually food or clean water).

He only hoped that Jongin would be gentler than some of the other men he’d encountered during his life on the streets that sometimes left him with bruises that took weeks to heal.

“Kyungsoo, no.” Jongin told him calmly, grasping his wrists to stop him from undressing himself, “That’s not necessary at all, this is actually the part where you have a place to sleep and feel safe.”

“You mean…you don't want to?” Kyungsoo asked, knowing that the confusion was etched all over his face, “But you paid me so much money and-“

“It’s not that I don't find you attractive, I do, honestly,” Jongin said, looking a little embarrassed, “But that’s not why I offered you a place to stay.”

“So, why did you offer then?” Kyungsoo questioned, not sure what else to say, shocked that Jongin didn't want to use him for his own pleasure before throwing him back onto the streets; this sort of kindness was completely alien to him and he wasn't sure how to deal with it.

“Well, you seem like a nice young man whose been dealt a really bad hand in life and…well I guess I just wanted to help.” Jongin explained honestly, “You look so lost Kyungsoo, and all I want is to help you find your way again, so as long as you help out around here and don't make me regret bringing you home, you have a safe place to stay for as long as you want.”

To say that Kyungsoo was stunned into silence would be an understatement; _that_ was the last thing he’d been expecting, and it made him suspicious of Jongin’s eventual goal, so much so that it set him on edge; _nobody_ was _that_ generous to homeless people, especially not prostitutes.

“Why would you say something like that to me?” Kyungsoo asked, and Jongin looked confused.

“What did I say wrong?”

“Did you _really_ think that you could fool me Jongin?” Kyungsoo snapped, already up on his feet and angry, “Do you think you’re some fucking messiah to have shown me pity and kindness for a few hours?”

“Kyungsoo I-“

“What _do_ you want Jongin?” Kyungsoo interrupted, “And please, don't lie to me this time.”

“I’m not lying to you Kyungsoo I give you my word.” Jongin insisted, “I just wanted to help, that’s all.”

Self-preservation had Kyungsoo shaking his head and taking several steps away, “Well you can keep you money because I’m leaving.”

Quickly retrieving his own dirty belongings that were still in the bathroom, Kyungsoo headed for the door, only to go rigid in fear when Jongin grasped his wrist to keep him from leaving.

“Don't go, please.” Jongin pleaded softly, “I’ll keep paying you if that’s what it takes. I’ll pay you for every day and night you stay here.”

_Is this guy for real?_

“Why the _hell_ would you do that?”

“I shouldn't have to explain that to you.” Jongin snapped, then softened when he saw the shocked look on Kyungsoo’s face, “Look, at least stay until your chest infection is gone- it’ll clear up a lot faster if you’re not out in the cold all the time.”

Kyungsoo narrowed his eyes; “You really want to pay me to stay here with you until I’m feeling better?”

“I have more money than I know what to do with, and nobody in the world to share it with.” Jongin said, looking strangely forlorn, “So yeah Kyungsoo…I would.”

“Fine.” Kyungsoo sighed, relenting and wondering which one of them was crazier, “But as soon as this illness is gone I’m out of here.”

“That’s entirely your choice.” Jongin told him, “I won’t force you to stay outside of our...agreement.”

Not really knowing what to say to that, Kyungsoo allowed Jongin to lead him further into the apartment.

“I think it’s time I showed you to your room.” Jongin smiled when he clearly noticed Kyungsoo trying to stifle a yawn behind his hand, “I’ll take the day off tomorrow so we can spend it getting to know each other better, get you something to help with that nasty cough, and maybe find you something to wear other than pyjamas.”

Kyungsoo just nodded, too fatigued now to really even think straight, following Jongin to a bedroom that was almost as luxuriously decorated as the rest of the apartment – that he would probably appreciate the sight of more tomorrow – he even had his own television in here.

Smiling slightly when Jongin helped him get settled underneath the thick quilts, Kyungsoo sighed heavily at how good it felt to sink his body into a soft mattress rather than the cold stone pavement of a dirty alleyway.

“My room is just down the hall, so don't be afraid to come and find me if you need anything at all.” Jongin smiled, pressing a (clearly impulsive) affectionate kiss to his forehead before making to leave the room, flicking the light off as he went, “Goodnight Kyungsoo.”

“Goodnight.” Kyungsoo answered sleepily, “Jongin?”

“Hm?”

“I know it probably doesn't seem like it, but I’m glad you left your car unlocked tonight.” Kyungsoo almost whispered.

“Me too Kyungsoo,” Jongin told him quietly, “Me too.”

The door clicked shut after that, and Kyungsoo snuggled down into the soft quilts, curling up in a little ball and feeling surprisingly content and safe for the first time in what seemed like forever.

Sleep claimed Kyungsoo quickly, and he submitted to it easily, falling into dreams of thick dark clouds, heavy rain, bottomless ocean storm blue eyes and the beautiful smile of a handsome saviour who had rescued him in the dead of night when nobody else would have even looked twice.

Perhaps there was still a little luck – a little _hope_ – left in Kyungsoo’s life, after all.

*****


	2. Two.

** * **

  When Kyungsoo woke to pale sunlight streaming in through a small gap in the deep blue curtains that almost touched the polished hardwood floor, he found himself disorientated and a little panicked as he tried to figure out where the hell he was.

_Jongin_ , he remembered with a sudden jolt, the previous day – and the strange agreement he’d made – rushing back to him in full colour.

Rolling over to glance at the digital clock glaring at him with bright green numbers that read 12:27PM, Kyungsoo gasped aloud; he hadn’t slept like _that_ in years. Pulling himself upright and pulling the quilts tighter around himself purely because he was reluctant to leave his ridiculously comfortable bed, Kyungsoo was quickly overcome by a violent coughing fit that rattled his bones and made his whole body ache.

“Kyungsoo, are you awake?” Jongin’s voice asked softly a few moments later after he’d knocked gently.

“Yeah…you can come in.” Kyungsoo said when the other man made no further move to enter the room without permission; he couldn't remember the last time that had happened.

Smiling sleepily – still too dazed to think about refraining from doing so – when Jongin walked into the room, Kyungsoo raised a questioning eyebrow when he saw the bottle of something that looked deep red, a metallic silver packet and a glass of water he was carrying.

“What on earth is all that?”

“Strong medicine for that cough, painkillers and water- though I think that one is obvious.” Jongin said, looking pleased but bashful at the same time.

It was annoyingly endearing- since when was a powerful CEO _endearing_ anyway?

Shoving the unwanted thought as far out of his mind as he could, Kyungsoo allowed Jongin to sit beside him to feed him the cough medicine, followed by the painkillers that he gulped down with far too much water because he couldn't stand the taste of them.

“Slow down.” Jongin laughed, “You’ll make yourself feel sick.”

Kyungsoo shrugged, “Are you here to tell me you’re going to work?”

“Why would you think that?”

“Well…most people don't wear Armani suits around the house.” Kyungsoo said, nodding towards the beautifully made black suit and pale blue, stiff collared shirt Jongin was wearing.

He _refused_ to acknowledge the way the colour brought out the flecks of sapphire glittering in Jongin’s eyes. Absolutely not- honestly he hadn’t even noticed.

Jongin glanced down at himself, “Oh um- I pretty much always dress like this…” he trailed off, sounding a little unsure for a moment before collecting himself, “I actually came to ask what you’d like for breakfast? Left over pizza, pancakes…eggs? Whatever you want and it’s yours.”

“Do you have any porridge?” Kyungsoo asked shyly, hoping Jongin wouldn't be angry with him for asking for something he hadn’t mentioned.

“Sure, anything specific you want in it?”

“Syrup please, if you have it.”

“I’m sure I do somewhere.” Jongin smiled, and Kyungsoo’s whole body sagged in relief, “Feel free to shower or take another bath while I make your breakfast- I’ll leave some clothes in here for you. Oh, the shower room is separate to the bath- just in the room next door.”

Not really sure what to say, Kyungsoo nodded, watching with an absent smile as Jongin left the room, whistling as he walked; he really was the strangest wealthy man Kyungsoo had ever met.

Finally dragging himself out of bed and into the spacious _shower_ room that was decorated with beautiful tiles that surrounded the large walk in shower that had so many settings Kyungsoo wasn't sure he’d ever have time to try them all.

Stripping off his pyjamas and stepping under the jet spray, Kyungsoo barely bit back a groan of satisfaction at how good the hot water felt on his still sore muscles; he half wanted to stay stood under there all day.

Opening the window to help rid the room of steam when he’d finished, Kyungsoo bundled himself up in yet more fluffy towels and headed back to the bedroom he’d been given, his heart giving an unexpected flip when he saw the little pile of clothes folded neatly on the bottom of the bed.

Drying himself off and dressing in a long sleeved, beige shirt and black slacks that were almost comically too big for him, Kyungsoo felt more like a real person than he had in years as he then followed his nose to the kitchen, where he found Jongin making porridge as promised, along with toast, coffee and what looked like fresh orange juice.

The perfect breakfast, in all honesty.

“Hey, come and make yourself comfortable. Help yourself to whatever you like.” Jongin said kindly when he spotted Kyungsoo hovering inside the doorway, “Sorry about the clothes- I don't have visitors very often so-“

“It’s fine, really.” Kyungsoo assured him, folding his sleeves back several times before serving himself out a little bit of everything Jongin had prepared, unable to refrain from doing so.

Besides, it seemed to please Jongin to see him eat well.

“Are you alright Kyungsoo?” Jongin asked, a frown marring his handsome features when he noticed Kyungsoo fidgeting in his seat and wincing in pain.

Kyungsoo nodded and smiled bravely, “Just sore from the beating I took yesterday. I’ll be good as new when the bruises have healed a little- besides, it’s not like I haven’t had worse.”

“That’s terrible.” Jongin said, looking genuinely saddened by the words, “You shouldn't have to live your life being treated that way.”

“It’s not like I’ve had much of a choice, Jongin.” Kyungsoo snapped, guilt choking him up the second the words left his lips, “Sorry I just- sorry, what have you been doing all morning while I was sleeping the day away?”

If the subject change annoyed Jongin he didn't show it, a short laugh falling from his lips, “Well I’ve had eggs for breakfast, along with coffee because I can’t survive without it even though between you and me- I hate the taste of the stuff.” He smiled, eyes alight with mischief as though he were sharing a truly deep secret, “I checked my emails and typed up some spread sheets I’ve been putting off, oh and obviously went to the pharmacy for your medicine before trying to tidy the place up a bit without waking you.”

_Tidy up_ , Kyungsoo thought, _the place looks spotless already, almost unlived in._

“That…sounds like a busy morning.” Kyungsoo said, “What time did you get up?”

“Around five.” Jongin said simply, laughing at Kyungsoo’s shocked expression, “Chronic insomniac- so I barely sleep.”

“Maybe you just need somebody to sleep _with_.” Kyungsoo blurted before he could stop himself, flushing hotly in embarrassment, “I mean I-

“Maybe you’re right.” Jongin interrupted, the smirk that curved his lips then so sinful Kyungsoo had to force himself to focus on his porridge instead of Jongin’s plush mouth.

What the _hell_ was he _thinking_ , speaking to him like that? A prostitute he may be, but that didn't mean he was _desperate_. In any case, it wasn't sex Kyungsoo missed, no, it was affection, and he highly doubted somebody like Jongin could fill that void deep inside him.

Nobody could.

“Thank you for the medicine.” Kyungsoo said, steering the conversation to more neutral ground again, “I feel better already.”

Jongin nodded, eyes glinting in a way Kyungsoo couldn't read, “Is there anything you’d like to do today, or would you prefer to rest- you can go back to bed if you want, I won’t hold it against you.”

Thinking about it, Kyungsoo had no idea, “I’m not really sure- was there something you had in mind that you wanted to do?”

“I hoped maybe you’d let me take you shopping, that way I can buy you a few things to wear whilst you’re here that actually fit you- not that you don't look adorable in my clothes.” Jongin cleared his throat, “Then if you don't feel too unwell we could go to the supermarket and pick up some food you like, too.”

Ignoring the older man’s flirting, Kyungsoo nodded his agreement, “Sounds like a plan to me, but you don't have to go buying me things Jongin- especially clothes.”

“Nonsense, you’ll be far more comfortable if you have better fitting things that you also know are _yours_.” Jongin told him firmly, “I insist. You can take them with you when you leave or leave them here for- well for if you ever decided to come back and visit me some time.”

Kyungsoo found himself swallowing his heart alongside his orange juice as he nodded again – he really was tired of being rendered speechless all the time – wondering why Jongin was being so nice to somebody who had nothing when he clearly had _everything_. Such kindness had been a rarity in Kyungsoo’s life, even before everything had turned to shit.

Jongin was an enigma – everything about him was unknown yet undeniably beautiful - and to Kyungsoo, ever precise and careful and hardened to the world; that alone was enough to scare the hell out of him.

*****

    “Jongin, are you sure you want to take me shopping _here_?” Kyungsoo asked, feeling out of place and out of his depth as he gazed around the shopping district of Gangnam, where almost everything was high-end and fancy.

“Of course, why wouldn't I?”

Kyungsoo shrugged, not really knowing (or wanting) to voice how insecure he suddenly felt, with his bruised face and ill-fitting clothes, “Just don't go all _Pretty Woman_ on me, I only need a few things.”

Jongin laughed softly, “I didn't know you knew the movie.”

“I haven’t always been a hooker y’know.” Kyungsoo snapped, and guilt stabbed at his insides, unwelcome and unwanted, when Jongin’s face fell, “I’m sorry Jongin, my foot seems determined to live in my mouth and-“

“Forget about it.” Jongin said, waving off his apology and leading him into a nearby store, “You put on such a good front, Kyungsoo- so let’s see how you do in here.”

Biting back the venomous remark on the tip of his tongue, Kyungsoo quietly followed inside, startled by the sudden change in Jongin’s demeanour the second the door slid shut behind them.

Here Jongin was no longer Jongin at all, but CEO Kim of KA-I Industries. Self-confidence rolled off him in waves that began at the almost cocky smile curving his lips, he walked with an air of such grace and power it turned the heads of almost every person he passed by, his head held high as though he owned the whole building.

For all Kyungsoo knew, he _did_.

“Good afternoon Kim Jongin sshi,” a couple of female assistants rambled as they rushed up to them, “It’s so nice to see you here again- what can we help you with today?”

“I need you to find a few things for everyday wear and one causal dinner suit for my friend, Kyungsoo,” Jongin said, voice deep and authoritative as he nodded in Kyungsoo’s direction, “His luggage has been lost on a flight to Seoul- he’s been living in Japan and as such has nothing suitable to wear right now.”

“Oh that’s absolutely _terrible_.” One of the assistants said dramatically, “I hope you’ve put in a complaint Kyungsoo sshi.”

“Of course I did. I’ve threatened to sue the airline for their incompetence; never have I had to suffer such woeful service.” Kyungsoo told them firmly, putting on a front as he absently remembered a line from _Titanic_ , a movie he secretly loved but obviously hadn’t seen in years.

_Remember, they love money so pretend like you own a gold mine and you’re in the club._

“I’ve been living and working in Japan for the last couple of years,” he continued, the lies coming surprisingly easy, “I was in America before that so I’ve come to understand a more _laid back_ way of living but I certainly didn't expect _this_ moving back home.”

“Did they lose many of your belongings?” the other woman asked, and Kyungsoo sighed dramatically.

“My clothes, some of which were my absolute _favourite_ labels, one of a kind pieces of jewelry, priceless books and even a couple of pieces of artwork; you name it, they lost it, and if they haven’t sorted out their appalling blunder by the end of the week they will be hearing from my lawyer.”

“You did the right thing Kyungsoo sshi, first class customers should be taken care of accordingly.”

Kyungsoo smiled politely, “You’re quite right of course, and as such I’ll be sure to come back here myself as soon as my things are returned to me and I’m settled back in.”

Clearly Kyungsoo had said the magic words, because seconds later both women were flitting round the store so quickly he could barely keep track of them, gathering lovely – _expensive_ – sweaters, shirts, smart t-shirts and trousers, slacks, jeans, boots, shoes and even jackets.

All from the _latest season_ , apparently.

Kyungsoo was then ushered into a changing room, where he stripped and re-dressed countless times, with Jongin sitting waiting to judge each outfit he tried on.

“He’s always known me better than anyone.” Kyungsoo told the assistants, “And he’s always had _excellent_ taste.”

“We can’t disagree Kyungsoo sshi.” They rushed to agree when Jongin nodded his approval at an incredible Italian navy coloured suit with a both a black and a white shirt for whatever mood he was in when they went out for dinner, “CEO Kim is one of our best customers.”

That didn't surprise Kyungsoo at all, but when exactly had he agreed to go to _dinner_ with Jongin?

By the time they took everything to be de-tagged, packed carefully into large bags or boxes and paid for Kyungsoo’s head was spinning, and he barely bit back a gasp of astonishment when he saw the total price as Jongin handed over his _black credit card_.

“A gift from me to help with the ordeal you have been subjected to at the airport.” Jongin said, handing Kyungsoo several bags and taking the rest himself.

“As always you know how to put me in a good mood.” Kyungsoo replied, watching as Jongin then tipped the two women with cash for their hard work.

“I’ll be back for the new season collection.” Jongin said, bowing politely, Kyungsoo following suit as they then left together.

Once outside he couldn't keep from breathing an audible sigh of relief.

“I had no idea shopping could be so _exhausting_.”

Jongin laughed softly, “You put on a good show in there that’s for sure. I was convinced even though I knew it to be a lie.”

“Well the directors I auditioned for years ago clearly never thought so.” Kyungsoo said before he could stop himself; he’d sworn never to reveal anything too personal.

Jongin looked surprised, “I had no idea you’d wanted to act- you’d be good on the big screen, your name up in lights.”

“I’m not interested in that life. Not anymore.” Kyungsoo said, effectively ending the conversation.

They walked through Gangnam together, with Kyungsoo already changed into some of his new attire in the form of dark denim jeans, deep brown ankle boots and a beige cable knit sweater layered over one of his new t-shirts.

Though it was a stark contrast to the grey pinstripe suit Jongin was wearing again – perhaps it was his favourite – Kyungsoo privately admitted that he _did_ feel a little like a movie star dressed like this, no longer so obviously out of place by Jongin’s side.

It was difficult to comprehend still, that somebody like this handsome CEO would have even looked at him twice let alone helped him, but Kyungsoo was quickly learning-

That Kim Jongin, wealthy or otherwise, was no ordinary man.

    Hours passed by that saw the two unlikely companions meander around several more department stores and stop off at a wonderful café for coffee and cake before eventually driving to the supermarket closest to Jongin’s home – Kyungsoo still couldn't believe he’d spent all day being driven around in a Lamborghini – and he was secretly surprised that somebody so wealthy actually did his own grocery shopping.

He chose not to voice that out loud though.

Everywhere they went there seemed to be people that recognised Jongin, curious eyes following them up and down the aisles and mobile phone cameras trying to snap pictures of him (them) doing something _awe inspiring_ like putting fresh peaches into a plastic bag.

People were so ridiculous at times.

After a while they didn't need to push their own trolley around, Jongin got some poor member of staff to do it, making Kyungsoo retract his secret statement about him doing his own shopping; whatever item Jongin requested, it was placed carefully in his trolley barely a minute later.

Kyungsoo couldn't quite believe what he was witnessing, couldn't believe how different Jongin was when out in the public eye. He was so poised and graceful, intimidating yet undoubtedly charismatic; yet when he was alone with Kyungsoo he was caring and friendly, even affectionate and funny. They contrast was so stark that – had he not known any better – Kyungsoo would have thought himself hallucinating that this was the same man who tended his bruises and cooked him breakfast.

It was as though ‘public Jongin’ was actually _KA-I_ , and the only place the mask ever came off was at home. Maybe that was true of him- though Kyungsoo didn't suppose he’d be in Jongin’s life long enough to find out for sure.

When they eventually exited the supermarket Kyungsoo found himself angered by just how much money their food had cost. He’d been struggling to get by for years, selling his own body so that he might feed himself, whereas Jongin just breezed through a life of luxury, throwing his credit card around to have people waiting on him hand and foot whilst he sat there waiting with his silver spoon.

“Do you want me to cook dinner now or later?” Jongin asked when they made it back to his penthouse, dumping the bags and gazing at Kyungsoo expectantly.

“I’m exhausted Jongin,” Kyungsoo sighed, tired and agitated, “I’ll just have pizza left over from yesterday. I don't want it to go to waste and besides- pizza is my favourite.”

“But I just bought all this food and-“

“And you can cook me a three course meal or whatever tomorrow.”

Jongin folded his arms over his chest, “At least let me order fresh pizza.”

“Stop being so fucking wasteful!” Kyungsoo shouted, “For once in your privileged life Jongin could you spare a thought for the people who can’t always afford to eat every day let alone throw away a perfectly good meal for no reason whatsoever.” He cursed the unexpected burn of tears that he wouldn't let fall because _he never cried_ , “Spare a thought for people like me.”

“Kyungsoo I’m sorry.” Jongin rushed to apologise, “I didn't mean to sound so insensitive-“

“Save it. I’m tired and I want to go to sleep.” Kyungsoo told him, “If that’s okay with you.”

Jongin nodded, moving to heat several slices of left over pizza through in the microwave, handing it to him along with the bottle of cough syrup, “Here, take these and get some rest. I promise I won’t disturb you.”

Kyungsoo simply sighed and did as he was told; he was halfway to the bedroom before Jongin’s voice sounded again, “And Kyungsoo?”

“Hm?”

“I really am sorry that I upset you.”

Turning away from those blue-grey eyes now shimmering with guilt, Kyungsoo remained silent as he wandered into his temporary bedroom, unsure of what to make of the situation he was in.

He wasn't sure he could deal with a man like Jongin who effortlessly slid between personas depending on where he was, but then he felt like a hypocrite because _everything_ about Kyungsoo now was nothing more than a wall of false pretense built to help him survive.

Perhaps underneath it all, they were both as fearful as each other.

Curling up in bed with his pizza Kyungsoo allowed his gaze to wander around his temporary bedroom and for the first time he wondered, after being taken into a place like this, what would it be like when the time came for him to go back to the place he truly called home?

Twenty-four hours with Jongin, and already the thought of cold hard concrete and food thrown into dumpsters had Kyungsoo blinking back tears and not understanding why he suddenly felt this way.

Like the bottom was missing from his stomach and he was free falling down into nothing- terrifying and unpredictable _nothing_.  

*****

    When Kyungsoo got out of bed the next morning, he quickly realised that Jongin had clearly understood he’d offended him when he walked into the kitchen to find his favourite breakfast – porridge with syrup and scrambled eggs on toast – waiting for him, and Jongin himself, wearing a pale yellow shirt, grey trousers and an incredibly apologetic expression.

“I made your favourite.” Jongin said softly, “I know it doesn't excuse my behaviour last night, but I thought it might help make you feel better. Oh- and this is for you.” He continued, pulling from seemingly thin air a single rose that was just beginning to blossom, it’s petals a delightful shade of peach.

“It’s beautiful, thank you.” Kyungsoo managed to say, lifting the bloom to his nose and inhaling its delicately sweet scent, “And breakfast looks lovely.”

“I want you to know that even though I’m sorry for my insensitive behaviour yesterday, I’ll understand if you no longer want to continue with our deal,” Jongin piped up when Kyungsoo was finishing off his porridge, “I’ll still pay you regardless.”

Though Kyungsoo was constantly being torn between wanting to run away and never look back, and beg Jongin to let him stay forever, the sadness in Jongin’s eyes had him doing neither.

“I’ll stay as promised, Jongin, a deal is a deal after all.” Kyungsoo said instead as he pulled the plate of scrambled eggs towards him, “And I accept your apology, in case you were wondering.”

The beautiful smile that lit up Jongin’s face then had Kyungsoo questioning his own sanity, had him worrying that he was going to regret this deal in the end; Jongin was still a mystery he could not yet unravel.

_I’m not even sure I want to_ , Kyungsoo thought, but even in his head the words sounded like a lie.

The day that unfolded from then was even more unfamiliar to Kyungsoo than the one before it, because not only did Jongin wait on him hand and foot – which was possibly the single strangest experience of Kyungsoo’s young life – but also asked for him to help brainstorm ideas with him for his company, Jongin clicking away on his laptop in his home office whilst Kyungsoo perched on the desk to watch.

Jongin was designing a new model of AI, one that he was hoping would be commercially available to people from all walks of life, not just the super rich, and was essentially a robot to do house chores. As such, Jongin needed a _look_ for the machine, one that would blend seamlessly into a home environment.

“You have seen _I Robot_ , right?” Kyungsoo asked when Jongin asked him his opinion, “Didn't those robots start off as helpers than then went rogue and started killing everybody?”

To his surprise, Jongin laughed instead of getting angry, “Sure they did but Kyungsoo that was a _movie_. Surely you know by now that movies aren’t real.” He smirked, a teasing lilt to his voice, “And it’s either an android to help around the house, or a sex bot for the overworked and undersexed businessperson.”

“Like yourself?” Kyungsoo questioned, blinking at him innocently.

“I can’t believe you’d _say_ something like that to me!” Jongin cried in mock offense.

“Oh come on Jongin, you walked right into that one.”

“Fine, fine.” Jongin relented, “Now stop sniggering and _help_ me! This is the future of AI here y’know- I can’t have my next creation looking like a haggard old witch, who would want _that_ in their home?”

Kyungsoo smiled, nudging into Jongin’s shoulder gently, “Okay, okay I’ll help. Now move over hotshot and let me see.” He said, sliding off the desk and pushing at Jongin’s shoulder until he took the hint and moved from the chair he was sat in, hunched over as he stared at the LCD screen in front of him.

Occupying the vacated seat, Kyungsoo looked over the design, which right now was little more than the base model for the AI and looked a lot like the androids he remembered seeing in movies years ago, “The androids are supposed to be housekeepers, so they really should look more like one,” he mumbled more to himself than anything, “Maybe there should be more than one design- that way the buyer can choose which one suits their lifestyle the most.”

Jongin hummed his agreement, “What designs would you suggest?”

“Well… _oh_ there should be one that has the appearance of a traditional butler- y’know shirt and bowtie like in the movies?” Kyungsoo laughed softly, feeling strangely excited by the idea, “There could be a younger housemaid, for those who prefer something a little _easier on the eyes_ ,” he smirked, throwing a glance at Jongin, “And…” he paused, tapping his lip with his fingers as he pondered, “I know! The third design could be an android that resembles an elderly lady or something; people feel comfortable around their favourite grandparent so it would be nice to have that familiarity. What do you think?”

“I think,” Jongin said, leaning over him so that he could show him how to use the software programme, “We should draw up some ideas.”

They spent several hours that way, playing with colours and textures – that sometimes gave hilarious results – and Jongin had ended up so taken with Kyungsoo’s ideas he’d even emailed his team to inform them of his plans; he even credited him for the designs.

_That_ had surprised Kyungsoo, to say the least.

“See, I’ve been here two days and already I’m running the show.” Kyungsoo joked to distract from how affected he was by Jongin’s proximity, “If it weren’t for me you’d go bankrupt.”

“Have dinner with me?” Jongin asked out of the blue, his breath tickling Kyungsoo’s ear as he spoke.

“I…okay.” Kyungsoo agreed, flushing hotly, “Dinner sounds great.”

_Dinner_ turned out to be an extravagant meal in the _Asian Live_ restaurant in the COEX complex (again in Gangnam) where Kyungsoo – dressed in his new navy blue suit and white shirt – found himself awed by the entire place.

This restaurant was one of the city’s best, and Jongin had told him he had made several successful business deals here over the years. Not that Kyungsoo was at all surprised by that piece of information as he gazed around taking everything in; this restaurant was _obviously_ high end, a place anybody who didn't own a pot of gold would never be able to eat at.

The kitchens were visible from many of the tables, and were bustling with activity as the chefs prepared culinary masterpieces of Indian, Japanese, Chinese _and_ Korean favourites; Kyungsoo tried not to gasp aloud at the price of pretty much everything on the menu.

It was a little overwhelming, and though Kyungsoo was dressed to fit into this world of wealth and superiority- he’d never felt more out of place because had these people seen him just a few nights ago, they wouldn't have even let him through the front door.

“Would you rather I take you somewhere else?” Jongin asked, clearly noticing his discomfort.

Kyungsoo shook his head, not wanting to be a rain cloud over their evening, “Here is fine it’s just- not what I’m used to, obviously.” He shifted closer to Jongin and lowered his voice; “The closest I usually get to places like this is the dumpsters out back to salvage people’s leftovers.” Jongin opened his mouth to say something, but Kyungsoo interrupted, “So what would you suggest I try tonight?” he asked as they were led to a private table, as per _CEO Kim’s_ request.

“One of the _fusion food_ settings.” Jongin said without even picking up his menu.

“That sounds…terrifying honestly.”

Jongin laughed, which in turn made Kyungsoo smile, “It’s not I promise you.” He explained, “Fusion food simply means a combination of each nations dish. It’s my favourite.”

“You eat here a lot then?” Kyungsoo asked, embarrassed when Jongin flashed him a ‘ _what do you think_ look’, “Of course you do, I keep forgetting you were raised in a gold mine.”

“Not at all.” Jongin smirked as he ordered them a couple of drinks, “I happen to think gold is incredibly kitschy- at least the yellow kind. Silver is much more beautiful.”

Kyungsoo raised an eyebrow, “But it's worth so much less than gold.”

“Perhaps, but I like it more regardless.”

“Me too.” Kyungsoo said with a small smile, “And I’ll try the fusion food.”

He just hoped he liked it, the last thing he wanted to do was waste perfectly good food.

After that brief moment where Kyungsoo was actually _surprised_ that Jongin’s favourite thing wasn't automatically the most expensive, the older man retreated back behind the mask he always wore in public. There was an air of authority that seemed to literally wrap itself around him, and it had Kyungsoo frantically rebuilding his barriers too, afraid that he’d unknowingly let his guard down a fraction too much.

Kyungsoo hated being false, but it had become a necessity in his life, and though he didn't doubt that in some ways it was the same for Jongin too; he didn't like witnessing that change, that shift between one persona and the next.

It made Kyungsoo unsure of himself, of Jongin and everything around them in this world of wealth and luxury.

Trying to quiet his turbulent mind by focusing on his food when an impeccably dressed waiter served it out in a display that was almost as appealing as the divine scent of it, Kyungsoo frowned when he looked down at the cutlery that seemed to extend almost to the edge of the table.

Perhaps that was a _bit_ of an overstatement, but it still looked excessive.

“Jongin,” Kyungsoo muttered, “Help.”

Jongin’s lips curved into a mischievous smile, “Just start from the outside and work your way in, feel free to just do what I do if you get lost.” He explained, and Kyungsoo nodded.

“Usually I have two ways of eating,” Kyungsoo said as he dug into a serving of spicy Indian chicken tikka masala, barely refraining from groaning at just how _good_ it tasted, “Chopsticks or hands. Do you actually _like_ dining in places like this?”

Jongin shrugged, “I’ve never really dined in places any different to this- I was born into a wealthy family.”

The words were friendly enough, but all they served to do was make Kyungsoo feel even more out of his depth than he already did.

They ate their meals in relative silence, with Kyungsoo wondering if he’d maybe unintentionally offended Jongin with his question at the same time as trying to ignore the curious stares they were both drawing from other people dining in the restaurant.

_Perhaps they know I don't belong here_ Kyungsoo thought sadly.

“Are you ready to leave, Kyungsoo?” Jongin asked when they’d finished their meals, and though he couldn't have eaten another mouthful if he’d tried, Kyungsoo felt guilty at just how much food was going to waste.

“Yes, thank you.” Kyungsoo said, unsure of how to speak to Jongin but not really understanding why.

“Your food, sir.” A member of staff said politely as he approached their table with several bags full of boxes of food, whilst a young looking waitress took their leftovers away before returning again with that packed up in boxes too, “Will there be anything else?”

“No, thank you.” Jongin said as he paid for everything and tipped the staff.

“Thank you very much.” Kyungsoo rushed to say as Jongin led him out of the restaurant, “The food here is amazing!”

“So Kyungsoo, where do you usually spend your time at this late hour?” Jongin asked as their climbed back into his Lamborghini (Kyungsoo was mildly surprised they didn't have a chauffeur so the Jongin could drink himself into a stupor or something).

“Oh, well…” Kyungsoo mumbled, staring out of the window so he didn't have to meet Jongin’s questioning gaze, “Usually if I’m not with a client already I’m trying to find a place to sleep, either with other homeless people or down an alley by myself.”

“Can you show me the way?”

All Kyungsoo could do was nod, directing Jongin to the places he called home, wondering what the hell was going on and then feeling overwhelmed in a whole new way when Jongin got out of the car with the bags of food, and proceeded to hand it all out to the lost souls huddled together around fires they had started in abandoned trash cans.

They all looked so grateful, thanking Jongin over and over for his kindness whilst Kyungsoo looked on with tears in his eyes, something deep inside stirring for the handsome CEO then.

_Something_ , that terrified him.

*****


	3. Three.

*****

    “Are you sure you’re well enough to go traversing the city today?” Jongin asked late one morning when Kyungsoo went rushing into his office all dressed and ready to go, announcing that he wanted to see the city like he promised, “I know you said you’ve felt better since the restaurant the other night but I don't think me giving food to the less fortunate is _actually_ a cure for a chest infection.”

Kyungsoo laughed, “I’m _fine_ Jongin, the cough is much better and that’s the bit that drives me insane, besides-“ he said, closing the lid on Jongin’s laptop, “You promised to take me to your favourite place to go when you’re not working. Not that I can actually imagine you not-”

“ _Alright_ that’s enough.” Jongin scolded playfully, “Just let me grab my jacket and we can go.”

Kyungsoo was back out of the office door before Jongin could even stand up.

_CEO Kim’s_ favourite place to go turned out to be Insa-dong, a tight lattice of streets full of art galleries, shops of every kind along with quirky little teahouses and traditional restaurants; Kyungsoo couldn't remember having ever been here before, but it looked like a wonderful place to be.

“We could spend all day here and not get bored even for a second.” Jongin said as though reading his mind, and Kyungsoo found himself smiling merely at the sound of Jongin’s voice, “Most of the galleries here blend old and contemporary styles, and to fit with the theme the shops sell paints, brushes- even handmade paper. I like to draw, not just for the company but for myself too, it helps with the stress of being a CEO with so many responsibilities some days I can barely keep up.”

“Is that why you don't sleep?” Kyungsoo asked, glancing up at the older man.

Jongin nodded, “It’s one of the reasons, yes.” He said, voice dropping to a barely there mumble, “But I’m also lonely Kyungsoo.”

“But you know so many people- visit so many places!”

“And yet my apartment is always empty, lavishly decorated yet void of anything to suggest that it actually belongs to somebody- that it’s a _home_.” Jongin explained, looking sad in a way Kyungsoo had never been before, “Until you, of course.”

“Me?” Kyungsoo gasped, “What have I done except cost you money?”

“Don't talk about yourself that way, Kyungsoo.” Jongin frowned, “You’ve brought colour to that place without me having to open even a single tin of paint.”

Kyungsoo could hardly hear over the racing of his own heart, “I’ll take that as a compliment, I think.”

“Good.” Jongin smiled, “Because it was meant as one.”

Kyungsoo returned the smile, deciding right there that he definitely liked Jongin the way he was now far more than the KA-I CEO he’d been seeing over the last couple of days; he was far more loveable this way.

Did he say loveable?

He meant _likeable_ . Jongin was much more _likeable_ this way.

“Holy shit!” Kyungsoo shouted before he could stop himself when Jongin took him to Insadong-gil – the main street of the whole area – and Jongin suddenly pulled him close against his body when a taxi whizzed past so fast it probably would have hit Kyungsoo purely because he hadn’t seen it coming.

“Be careful on the streets here.” Jongin smiled, “The taxis seem to be a law unto themselves.”

Kyungsoo nodded, breathless for no real reason, “I will, thanks. And sorry for swearing.”

Waving away his apology, Jongin led him down the main street, and Kyungsoo found himself completely distracted by the music being played there, accompanied by people dancing and performers dressed in beautiful bright coloured fabrics.

“It’s amazing.” Kyungsoo sighed, only realising Jongin must have heard him when he laughed softly and wrapped his arm around him as they watched the performance together.

“Just so I don't lose you.” Jongin said when Kyungsoo gave him a questioning look.

Such attentiveness was enough to have him flushing all over.

After the performance was finished, Kyungsoo expected Jongin to let go of him as they made their way to the _Ssamziegil_ building – a spiralling complex of trinket stores with a rooftop market that sold pretty much anything a person could ever imagine wanting or needing – but he didn't, if anything he only pulled Kyungsoo closer as they strolled around the stalls.

It was a wonderful place, full of quirky objects both from Korea and its neighbouring countries, and Kyungsoo found himself exploring each and every one, fascinated by pretty much everything he found.

“What’s so funny?” Kyungsoo asked when he noticed Jongin’s amused expression as he watched him.

“Nothing, you just seem so happy here that’s all.” Jongin told him seriously, “It’s a good look for you.”

“What, violet?” Kyungsoo joked, wrapping a vivid purple silk scarf around his neck and fluttering his eyelashes; he may have been teasing, but it really was a beautiful scarf.

“Happiness.”

“Oh.”

“But if you like the scarf, you can have it.”

Kyungsoo’s eyes widened a little at that, “I couldn't Jongin, it’s probably expensive and-“

“ _And_ you can call it a gift from me.” Jongin interrupted, already pulling money from his wallet, “A souvenir if you prefer, to remind you of our day together.”

“Thank you, it’s beautiful.” Kyungsoo said, looping the scarf around his neck properly when Jongin had paid for it, “And in the spirit of souvenirs,” he smirked, flirting to hide just how deeply such a small thing had affected him, pushing up onto his toes to press a kiss to Jongin’s cheek, “To remind you of our day together. It’s not a scarf, but I’m sure you’ll remember it just the same.”

“You are…unlike anybody I have ever met.”

Kyungsoo decided to take that as another compliment.

Next on their _destination list_ was the Kyung-In Museum Of Fine Art, a place that was described as tradition with a twist, and the second Kyungsoo stepped over the threshold he could see why.

The four spacious rooms were open plan, wrapped around a leafy courtyard that had a quaint little tearoom there too- very nice. Apparently the aim was to reflect a desire to fuse both conventional and contemporary, Kyungsoo fell in love with it almost immediately.

They walked around together, admiring the exquisite works of art displayed there, but such creative talent could not distract from the fact that Kyungsoo suddenly didn't feel so good at all, lightheaded and dizzy, unable to properly hear what Jongin was saying – he was telling him about one of the older pieces in the collection that was one of his favourites – when his ears started buzzing.

Kyungsoo couldn't focus, couldn't move other than to simply sway on the spot, unable to get Jongin’s attention when he was so invested in what he was talking about.

“Jongin I don't feel so good-“ Kyungsoo managed, stumbling and grabbing Jongin’s arm when his legs buckled and he crumpled completely without more than a few seconds warning.

“Kyungsoo! Shit…” Jongin cursed, reflexes allowing him to catch Kyungsoo before he could hit the ground.

Darkness. Silence. _Nothing_.

The next time Kyungsoo woke up, it was to find himself back in his bed at Jongin’s penthouse, with Jongin watching over him and pressing a cold compress to his forehead.

“Oh thank God you’re awake!” Jongin cried when he noticed, then looked guilty when Kyungsoo groaned in pain at the sound; his head felt like it was being split in two with a chainsaw.

“You swore.”

“Come again?” Jongin asked, his brow furrowed in confusion.

“When I collapsed you swore, after I apologised for swearing when that taxi nearly hit me.” Kyungsoo croaked, wincing when Jongin laughed.

“Of course _that’s_ what you’re concerned about.” Jongin said, “I’ll have you know I use bad language all the time.”

Kyungsoo was sceptical, “Really? You don't look like the type-“

“Well, maybe not _all_ the time.” Jongin admitted, “But when the situation calls for it- _definitely_.”

“I can imagine.” Kyungsoo teased, the groaned in pain again, “My head…”

“Hush now, you have a fever and you need to rest.” Jongin said, gently pushing him back down against the pillows when he tried to sit up, “I’m sorry for taking you out so much when you’re unwell, I should never have-“

“It’s hardly your fault Jongin.” Kyungsoo tried to tell him, “I was sick when you found me remember? It’s why I’m still here.”

It was probably the fever making him see things, but Kyungsoo swore Jongin looked wounded by the words, “Right, of course.” He said after a moment, clearing his throat, “Still, I should be taking care of you not making you worse. Otherwise you’ll be stuck here with me forever.”

_That doesn't sound so bad_ , Kyungsoo longed to say, “You’re still not to blame, I wanted to go out into the city.”

“Is there anything I can do to make you feel better?” Jongin asked, food, drink, anything?”

Overcome by a coughing fit before he could answer, Kyungsoo gratefully took the medicine Jongin offered him, “There…there is one thing you could do.”

“Anything.”

“Stay with me?”

Jongin smiled, “Sure, I’ll just go grab a chair and-“

“No.” Kyungsoo interrupted, pressing a hand against the empty space next to him, “Stay here, lay with me for a while until I fall asleep.”

Jongin looked taken aback, but did as he was asked, toeing off his shoes before climbing into the bed and settling down beside him, and though Kyungsoo was relieved he hadn’t been turned away, he felt exposed and vulnerable in ways he never had before.

As though Jongin, gazing at him with those bottomless storm coloured eyes, could suddenly see right through him, through the barriers he’d spent years building and straight to the lonely core beneath.

“Jongin-“

“Sleep now, Kyungsoo.” Jongin hushed, raising a cautious hand to run tentative fingers through Kyungsoo’s hair, “You’re not alone anymore.”

That _something_ was there again, - frightening and unknown - fluttering inside his heart so hard his chest began to ache as he closed his eyes, wondering if he was going crazy because for as awful as he felt right now in the grip of a fever Kyungsoo was also thankful.

Thankful because a fever meant that his illness had not yet passed, which then in turn, meant that Kyungsoo could stay with Jongin a little longer.

Just a little longer.

*****

    In the days that followed Kyungsoo’s (rather embarrassing) fainting episode, and Jongin had been almost constantly fussing him, barely letting him out of bed for anything other than to use the bathroom.

It was starting to drive him a little stir crazy.

“I’m not taking you around the city again, Kyungsoo.” Jongin told him firmly when Kyungsoo pleaded late one afternoon to get out of the apartment for a while, “Not until you’re _properly_ better, something that will only happen if you _rest_.”

“It doesn't have to be around the city,” Kyungsoo tried, “Just take me somewhere, _anywhere_ .” He sighed, “In my _line of work_ I spend enough time laid on my back as it is.”

Jongin laughed good-naturedly at Kyungsoo’s whining, “How about the theatre?”

“What about it?”

“Well, I could take you there tonight.” Jongin offered, “You can hardly overexert yourself sat in a chair.”

“Oh I don't know about that.” Kyungsoo flirted before he could stop himself, flushing to his hairline when Jongin smirked in response, “The theatre sounds wonderful, thank you.”

It came as a surprise to Kyungsoo, how overprotective Jongin was of him when really they still barely knew one another; being with Jongin was possibly _always_ going to be the strangest yet most enjoyable time of his life, so much so that the idea of going _home_ was beginning to feel like a very specific kind of torture.

The kind of torture that left no cuts or bruises, but could still be felt every single day.

“It’s already getting late, but I should be able to get us some last minute tickets.” Jongin smiled as he headed to the bedroom door, “Make sure you dress up pretty.”

Kyungsoo laughed softly, “Are you suggesting I’m not pretty all the time?”

“Never.” Jongin said, but he was gone before Kyungsoo could articulate a response.

Dragging himself out of the bed he was so tired of being curled up in feeling like death, Kyungsoo retrieved his dinner suit from the closet, pulling it on along with his black shirt, deciding to leave the top few buttons unfastened for comfort.

Glancing at his reflection in the dressing table mirror, Kyungsoo retrieved his small makeup collection that he’d stashed in one of the drawers – Jongin had insisted that he _unpack properly_ – and dolled himself up properly for the first time since he’d been here. It wasn't anything too fancy or over the top – he hoped – just eyeliner, blush and a little lip-gloss to give his skin more colour and glow; being so unwell had stolen his natural peachy complexion.

By the time Kyungsoo had finished scrutinizing his reflection and headed out to find Jongin, the CEO was waiting for him in the living looking like nothing less than a damned super model. Dressed in a deep violet suit that had a lovely, almost metallic shimmer to it in the light, a dark silver shirt and black shoes, Jongin looked every bit as wealthy and unattainable as he was.

His liquid mercury coloured hair was set in gentle waves and styled back off his face, revealing those eyes that Kyungsoo had to constantly check himself to keep from falling into, lined with black kohl and more alluring than ever, the whole look finished off with some kind of shimmering highlighter swept across the high arc of his cheekbones.

Honestly, in Kyungsoo’s opinion, Jongin looked incredible.

Clearing his throat to keep from saying something embarrassing, Kyungsoo smiled slightly when Jongin turned to face him properly with a beautiful smile of his own gracing those lips that haunted too many of Kyungsoo’s dreams.

Lips that he would never permit himself to kiss, should Jongin ever actually _want_ to. But with a global population of seven billion, Kyungsoo knew he would never be that fortunate- that _significant._

“You look beautiful, Kyungsoo.” Jongin said as he approached him.

“Well…so do you.” Kyungsoo managed to say around the heart currently lodged in his throat and beating wildly to a rhythm he didn't recognise.

Jongin laughed softly, “The car is waiting so, are you ready to go?”

“The car?”

“Yeah, the car.” Jongin said, already leading him out of the apartment and down to the main lobby.

Moments later, and Kyungsoo found himself sat in the back of a luxurious black _limousine_ , of all things.

“Don’t you think this is a bit…much?” Kyungsoo asked, hands shaking a little as Jongin handed him a glass of champagne from the bottle that had already been left in a bucket of ice, “I’m mean I’m just a wh-“

“Sex worker?” Jongin interrupted with a smile, “ _Profession_ aside, you deserve the best, Kyungsoo. I just happen to be in a position to provide that for you.”

“But-“

“For one night, stop thinking about cost and figures and social backgrounds.” Jongin told him, “Just _enjoy_ yourself- can you do that for me?”

Kyungsoo took a small sip of champagne, liking the way the bubbles tickled his tongue, “I can do that.”

He was going to need a few more glasses of that champagne.

Kyungsoo had no idea how long the journey to the theatre took, but it what seemed like no time at all they were slowing to a stop, a smartly dressed, middle-aged man opening the door a moment later, stepping aside for Jongin to leave the car.

When he went to follow, Kyungsoo was surprised that not only did Jongin turn back to him, but held a hand out for him to take to help him out of the limousine; he felt like he’d fallen into a movie.

Or perhaps he’d fallen into a dream.

Their destination was the _Seoul Arts Centre_ in Gangnam, home of Korea’s national ballet and opera companies, but tonight they weren’t seeing a ballet _or_ an opera; tonight they were watching the symphony orchestra as they performed _Vivaldi’s Four Seasons_.

It was an overwhelming sight; Kyungsoo thought as Jongin led him into the building, all those people turned out in their finery- it had him worrying yet again that they would know just by glancing at him that he was a fraud.

That he didn't belong regardless as to how much he was starting to wish he did.

“Link your arm through mine.” Jongin said softly as he led the way to where the programmes were being sold, buying them one each.

Kyungsoo did as he was asked and looped his right arm through Jongin’s left, “Like that?”

“Just like that.” Jongin smiled, handing him a glass of champagne that he picked up at the bar on their way into the main theatre.

“Doesn't this make me look like a woman?”

Jongin laughed softly, “No Kyungsoo, it makes you look like my date for the night,” he glanced at him, one eyebrow raised playfully, “Which you are, are you not?”

“Yes Jongin.” Kyungsoo smiled, holding his head a little higher, “I’m your date for the night.”

They took their seats and Kyungsoo found himself leaning closer to Jongin without really being aware of what he was doing, “I feel a little out of my depth here,” he whispered, flicking through the programme, “I didn't listen to a lot of classical music growing up- I don't know a lot of it.”

“There’s nothing to worry about Kyungsoo so relax.” Jongin told him softly, raising an arm to wrap it around Kyungsoo’s tense shoulders, “All you have to do is listen to the music, there is no right or wrong interpretation of it- it’s about what the music says to _you_.”

Kyungsoo nodded, shifting closer still to Jongin when the main lights suddenly went down and the stage lights came up. He’d heard the orchestra tuning their instruments when they came in, - which truth be told sounded incredibly _off putting_ to him – but now the show was beginning the scene couldn't have been more different.

Each person was dressed in immaculate, beautifully made evening wear, their instruments gleaming so much so that the light bounced off them, and Kyungsoo couldn't help but gasp out loud when he realised just how _big_ the orchestra was.

He’d never seen anything like it.

Kyungsoo vaguely noticed Jongin smile at him, but he was already too enamoured to respond as the opening chords of ‘ _Spring’_ rang loud and clear through the theatre.

The music was so powerfully evocative that Kyungsoo scarcely blinked let alone looked away, each piece played so beautifully he never wanted it to end. Soft melodies building as they melded into crescendos that broke over Kyungsoo the way waves broke against the sand before melting away into the next season.

Never before had he _felt_ so much just by listening to music, and he found himself gripping Jongin’s hand tightly, emboldened by the emotion cascading through his body.

“Are you okay?” Kyungsoo found himself asking when he noticed that Jongin seemed to be paying more attention to _him_ than the orchestra.

Jongin’s lips curved into a half smile, “I’ve never brought anybody here before. Usually I just spend my time alone…not that I really have much free time anyway.”

There was true vulnerability in the blue of Jongin’s eyes then, visible for the first time since Kyungsoo had met him.

“Do you regret it?” he asked, “Bringing me here?”

Jongin shook his head no, “I could never regret anything I do with you, Kyungsoo. And watching you listening to the orchestra- it’s a truly beautiful sight.”

Blushing hotly, Kyungsoo had to turn away, though it did nothing to disperse the stirrings of desire he felt despite knowing that was the _last_ thing he should be feeling for Jongin; it would ruin everything.

But by the time the orchestra played its final notes, Kyungsoo didn't need to look at Jongin to know he was feeling the same way tonight, he could almost _feel_ it, the tension that was settling between them, building to the point where it was becoming impossible to ignore.

Following Jongin out of the theatre and back to the already waiting limousine, Kyungsoo found himself wondering if should he bolt across the street now, would he also be able to outrun the desire that crawled over his skin every time Jongin looked at him.

Somehow he didn't think so.

*****

    “Can you feel it?” Jongin asked when they had been in the car barely more than a few minutes, voice low as he stroked a hand over Kyungsoo’s inner thigh, squeezing lightly, “The heat between us…”

“I feel it.” Kyungsoo almost sighed, knowing there was no point in denying it, Jongin would just see right through him.

The cuts and bruises from Kyungsoo’s beating were healing well, and his chest infection was much better than it had been just a few days ago, something that he’d neglected to tell Jongin in the hope that he’d be able to stay a little longer.

His attachment to Jongin was starting to spin out of control.

Jongin had had a couple more drinks than Kyungsoo over the course of their evening, but he clearly wasn't anything close to drunk, so Kyungsoo could barely hide his surprise when he moved to kiss him.

Though he couldn't deny that he wanted Jongin too, Kyungsoo still turned away regardless, allowing the older man to kiss at his neck instead, moaning softly when he nipped at the soft, sensitive flesh with his teeth.

“Kyungsoo yah.” Jongin almost whispered when Kyungsoo found himself unbuttoning the top few buttons of Jongin’s shirt, marvelling at every inch of tan skin revealed to his hungry eyes.

“I don't kiss on the mouth.” Kyungsoo said, raising a hand to press several fingertips against Jongin’s plush lips when he tried to kiss him again, “It’s too intimate- something you should only do with somebody you’re in love with.”

Disappointment was bright in Jongin’s eyes then, glittering with what Kyungsoo thought might be sadness, but then Jongin blinked and it was gone, replaced with a wickedly mischievous smirk, “Just like in Pretty Woman?”

“Just like in Pretty Woman.” Kyungsoo agreed, unsure whether or not it disturbed him to think that his life echoed that of a movie.

Distracting both himself and Jongin by kissing his way down the older man’s neck onto his collarbone, Kyungsoo loved the way Jongin simply allowed him to explore, “But you can have me any other way you want.”

A sound almost like a growl fell from Jongin’s lips then, as he reached over and grabbed Kyungsoo’s hips to pull him into his lap properly, pushing his own up into Kyungsoo’s groin; the friction soon had Kyungsoo panting and grinding down to meet Jongin’s every upward push.

Dry fucking was something Kyungsoo hadn’t done in _years_ , but Jongin made it feel sinfully good, and it turned him on further knowing that the driver would probably be able to hear them yet Jongin clearly didn't care; though Kyungsoo _did_ briefly notice that the partition screen between them and the driver had been pulled up to give them _some_ semblance of privacy.

Grinding his hips down as Jongin kissed at his neck once more, Kyungsoo couldn't help but whimper when Jongin unbuttoned his shirt until it exposed the stiffened nubs of his nipples and flicked his tongue over each one in turn, “Sensitive.” Jongin commented, breath hot against Kyungsoo’s skin.

Another upwards push of Jongin’s hips let Kyungsoo know how _affected_ he was by what they were doing, his concealed erection pushing insistently between Kyungsoo’s thighs.

“Jongin…Jongin ah.” Kyungsoo gasped, then collected himself because _he_ knew how to seduce people too, “A little eager are we?” he asked, voice dropping to a low purr.

“You have no idea.”

Kyungsoo smirked, “Oh I think I have _some_ idea,” he said, grinding his hips down to emphasise his point, “But this isn’t the place so you really should behave Jongin- you’re supposed to be a big important business man after all.”

Moving to shift out of Jongin’s lap, Kyungsoo bounced slightly (deliberately) when Jongin stopped him, revelling in the breathy moan that spilled from Jongin’s lips before sliding back to his seat anyway.

“Naughty.” Kyungsoo smirked, “You have to wait until we get home.”

“Hm home,” Jongin hummed as he leaned over to kiss at Kyungsoo’s sensitive neck some more, “I like the sound of that- you’re a tease though.”

“Like you wouldn't believe.” Kyungsoo smirked, making Jongin laugh softly.

_Home_ sounded frighteningly good to Kyungsoo too, but he swallowed his fear of the unknown when they pulled up at the apartment block, Jongin absently thanking the driver before all but dragging Kyungsoo inside and up to the penthouse.

He was half surprised they didn't end up having sex in the elevator.

The second they stumbled through the front door Jongin kicked it shut before crowding Kyungsoo against it, “Are you sure you’re feeling well enough for this?” he asked when Kyungsoo yelped in surprise, “We can wait-“

“If you stop now I may actually have to kill you.”

Jongin smiled at that, those sinful lips finding purchase against his throat, kissing and nipping as he tugged off Kyungsoo’s jacket and shirt at pretty much the same time; it felt so good he almost wished he could just give in and let Jongin _really_ kiss him.

Almost.

Kicking his shoes off, Kyungsoo then unfastened the rest of the buttons on Jongin’s shirt, watching as the older man shucked it off before crowding close again, moaning softly when Kyungsoo slid a hand to his crotch, palming at Jongin’s cock through the thin material of his dress pants.

“You’re so responsive to my touch.” Kyungsoo all but praised, “I like it.”

“I’ll show you responsive.” Jongin growled, lifting Kyungsoo as though he weighed nothing and carrying him through to the master bedroom.

Once back on his own two feet, Kyungsoo wasted no time in removing the rest of Jongin’s clothes, following the material down his body just so he could kiss his way back up the lithe form beneath his hands before pushing Jongin down onto the bed.

Jongin was beautiful, Kyungsoo had known that the first time he saw him, but laid out completely nude like that? It was something else _entirely_ . Jongin was all tan flesh, taut muscle and sharp angles; _perfect_.

Shimmying out of his own pants and briefs, Kyungsoo climbed over Jongin until he was straddling the older man’s hips, allowing his cock – that was already impossibly hard – to drag over Jongin’s abdomen as he leaned down to press hot, open mouthed kissed to Jongin’s sculpted chest.

“Condoms?” Kyungsoo asked, nipping at the sharp angle of Jongin’s jaw.

Seconds later Jongin was rummaging around in a bedside drawer before throwing several at him, along with a tube of lubricant, “You really _are_ eager.” Kyungsoo said, laughing softly.

“Like I told you in the car, you have _no_ idea.”

“And like I told _you_ , I have _some_ idea.” Kyungsoo purred, leaning down to lick up the shell of Jongin’s ear, “Now lay back, and let me show you who I _really_ am.”

Surprisingly compliant, Jongin simply nodded, settling back against the pillows and watching as Kyungsoo grabbed the lube, quickly slicked several fingers with the cool substance before raising himself up onto his knees, parting his thighs further over Jongin’s hips as he trailed a hand behind himself, fingers lightly brushing over Jongin’s solid cock before easing inside his already twitching hole one at a time.

“Jongin ah.” Kyungsoo moaned softly, the sound a pleasured sigh as he toyed himself open, knowing that Jongin was watching his every move, hips jerking upward sporadically and rubbing his cock against Kyungsoo’s hand, “So good.” He panted, rocking against his own hand, as he pressed deeper, harder.

“I’ve got to have you, Kyungsoo.” Jongin told him, “I’ll go crazy if I don't.”

The desperate words had Kyungsoo giving in, and he sighed as he eased his fingers out of himself, shifting off Jongin’s body for a moment as he rolled a condom over the older man’s shaft with his mouth; a trick he learned from a _co-worker_.

Being generous with the lube – Jongin wasn't exactly what Kyungsoo would call _small_ – he then settled himself back over Jongin’s hips, “Are you sure you want to do this?”

“Please just get on me.” Jongin groaned, “If you stop now I’ll _definitely_ kill you.”

Kyungsoo laughed softly, the sound soon turning into a drawn out moan of satisfaction as he sank down onto Jongin’s cock one agonising inch at a time, until he was fully seated, breathless and full in a way he couldn't ever recall being before.

Jongin didn't rush him, instead let him adjust to the feeling, stroking strong hands over Kyungsoo’s thighs when he began to move, rocking carefully, riding him slowly and letting himself get lost in the way Jongin made him feel.

Jongin was as attentive and perfect as a lover as he was in every other aspect of his life that Kyungsoo had witnessed, his hands never leaving Kyungsoo’s skin and moving with him each time Kyungsoo rolled his hips against him.

He kissed his skin anywhere Kyungsoo let him, sitting up to hold him closer when Kyungsoo started to bounce in his lap, his aching cock rubbing against Jongin’s abdomen and leaving pre-come in its wake.

“Jongin, _oh_!” Kyungsoo moaned, movements becoming harsher, more uncoordinated the closer to orgasm he pushed them both; he’d never been so tightly wound, so desperate for release with anybody before in his life.

“Slow down, angel.” Jongin breathed against his lips, though he didn't try to kiss him, “Let me take care of you…let me make you come.”

“It doesn't surprise me that you’d want control.” Kyungsoo smirked to hide how deeply the endearment affected him, pushing his fingers through the liquid silver of Jongin’s sweat-dampened hair when the older man frowned slightly, “I’m all yours.”

In a blur of heat and sensation, Jongin was shifting their positions, pulling out carefully as he laid Kyungsoo out beneath him, though he was pushing back inside before Kyungsoo could even moan at the loss.

Kyungsoo decided right then that the weight of Jongin on top of him was possibly one of the best feelings in the world.

Wrapping himself around Jongin as the older man banged into him harder than before, eyes rolling back as he found the best, most sensitive place inside him, Kyungsoo could no longer think straight; all that existed to him in that moment was the incredible man touching him as though they were _making love_.

“Jongin!” Kyungsoo cried out in surprised pleasure when the older man slid a hand between them to pump Kyungsoo’s cock with firm measured strokes in tandem to the hard, unrelenting thrusts of his hips.

It was the only warning Kyungsoo could give before he was spilling hotly between them with another long, low moan, shocked by himself for losing control first; that had never happened to him before.

“Jongin ah,” Kyungsoo almost cooed, trembling with aftershocks as he pulled Jongin closer, allowing the older man to rest his head against the crook of his neck, panting as he chased his own oblivion, “Don't hold back, just let go and come for me.” he whispered, raising a hand to fist in the back of Jongin’s hair, “I want to feel you come for me.”

Jongin’s thrusts grew more erratic, his moans more frequent as he banged into Kyungsoo again and again, “Kyungsoo I’m… _fuck!_ ” he cursed, hips going static as he climaxed too.

When Jongin collapsed against him then, Kyungsoo just held him close, carding fingers through damp hair and waiting for their breathing to return to something that resembled normal.

What he had just experienced with Jongin, Kyungsoo had never felt anything quite like it, and so found it hard to settle down because this unknown _something_ expanding inside his chest every time he so much as thought about Jongin was getting stronger by the minute.

Jongin kissed his cheek affectionately, interrupting Kyungsoo’s thoughts and making him smile when he didn't immediately send him away. Instead Jongin simply ditched the condom before pulling Kyungsoo close beneath the sheets, curling his body around Kyungsoo’s back and wrapping his arms around him to hold him tightly.

“I know we haven’t known each other long.” Jongin mumbled sleepily against the back of Kyungsoo’s neck, “But I feel like I’ve been wanting that forever.”

Before Kyungsoo could even think what to say in response to that, Jongin was fast asleep, and he found himself smiling again as he tried to settle down too, laying his hands over Jongin’s and letting the older man’s strong, steady heartbeat against his back calm him.

It made Kyungsoo wonder just how lonely Jongin’s life had really been, he was always either working or spending his time alone, he hadn’t mentioned his family _once_ and he’d never seen Jongin talk to any friends either, only work colleagues, and even then it was over the phone.

Kyungsoo _felt_ for him, wished he could somehow help make Jongin feel a little less lonely, because God knew Kyungsoo understood the torture loneliness could make a person feel.

Succumbing to sleep against the warmth of Jongin’s body, Kyungsoo wondered if what they had just shared really was something _more_ , wondered if Jongin perhaps wanted to keep him around for a while longer despite what they’d agreed, because for as frightening as it was-

Kyungsoo found himself starting to actually _hope_ so.

*****


	4. Four.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **Warning:** some violence & scene of attempted rape in this chapter ~~(it's not Jongin, just so you know).~~

*****

    The next morning, Kyungsoo was woken from dreams of tan skin, plush lips and lust darkened blue eyes by the sound of Jongin’s voice, worried and upset, almost _angry_.

“Jongin ah…” Kyungsoo mumbled sleepily as he turned over in bed, opening his eyes to see Jongin hastily pulling on his pants from the previous night, “What is it, what’s wrong?”

“What’s wrong?” Jongin cried, turning to face Kyungsoo, “What’s _wrong_ ? Kyungsoo we _slept_ together!”

“Is that…a problem?” Kyungsoo asked, his pleasant dream melting into nothing as doubt began to settle low in his gut, churning his stomach.

It wasn't as though he’d expected Jongin to be the type of man to sleep around – or hire prostitutes – but he didn't really understand why he was so worked up; he thought they’d had a good time.

“Of course it’s a fucking problem!” Jongin shouted, the words so unexpectedly harsh they made Kyungsoo flinch, “I can’t believe how fucking _stupid_ I’ve been.”

Kyungsoo frowned, “Jongin why are you so upset? It was sex between two consenting adults so I don’t-“

“I can’t believe I’d _do_ something like this,” Jongin continued to rant as though Kyungsoo hadn’t even spoken, “For a start I took advantage of you when I promised you I wouldn't, and if that isn’t bad enough Kyungsoo, you’re a _prostitute!_ For all I know you could be carrying every sexually transmitted disease known to man!”

_That_ stung, cut deeper than Kyungsoo would have ever thought possible, the words sending his defences back up; he should never have been stupid enough to _think_ about dropping them in the first place.

“Fuck off Jongin, never in my _life_ have I had unprotected sex!” Kyungsoo shouted, “I can’t believe you’d even _say_ that to me, but I’m so sorry that having sex with me caused you so much _offense_ . Maybe next time to feel the urge to be charitable to a homeless whore you should try being less fucking _perfect_ all the time, making them believe you want them, that this might actually _mean_ something only to-“ Kyungsoo cut himself short, spilling his heart here would do no good.

Guilt stoked the blue fire in Jongin’s stormy eyes, “Kyungsoo I’m so sorry, I didn't mean-“

“Save it.” Kyungsoo snapped, already climbing out of bed and refusing to let the tears fall though it made his eyes burn painfully, “At least now I know what you really think of me. A diseased whore.”

He hadn’t cried in years and like hell was it going to be because of some rich suit that liked to _pretend_ to be different than all the rest; if Jongin was different, it was because he was _worse_.

“Kyungsoo wait, _please_ .” Jongin pleaded when Kyungsoo tried to leave the room, “That’s the _farthest_ thing from what I think of you it’s just- I’ve never let go like that with somebody before, I’m not used to losing control of myself and I’m handling it badly.”

Kyungsoo scoffed, “Well that’s hardly _my_ fault.”

“I know and I’m sorry for saying such disgusting things.” Jongin sighed, “After everything you’ve been through the last thing I want to do is hurt you, Kyungsoo.”

“For you to hurt me Jongin, I’d have to care about you.” Kyungsoo told him, his lips trembling as he spoke, “And I don't.”

“You don't…care about me.” Jongin repeated, wounded, “At all?”

“I don't. You've been good to me Jongin and I’ll always be grateful, but we aren’t friends- we aren’t _anything_.” Kyungsoo told him, bile rising in his throat and burning like a lie.

Jongin looked so genuinely upset by that it had guilt clawing Kyungsoo’s insides, but then the older man composed himself, retreating inwards and becoming _CEO Kim_ once more; it stabbed at Kyungsoo’s heart to witness him retreat into himself like that.

“I understand, I’m still sorry though.” Jongin told him, “I have to go into the office today, I’ve been spending too much time at home as it is.”

“You don't have to tell me what you’re doing Jongin, it’s none of my business anyway.”

“It is whilst we’re living together.” Jongin said, coughing to clear his throat as though it was suddenly clogged with words he dare not say, “You can do as you wish while I’m gone, stay in, go out- whatever you please. I’ll be back this evening.”

Kyungsoo just nodded, watching as Jongin headed into the en suite for a shower before taking himself back to his own bedroom.

He didn't have breakfast that morning with Jongin, choosing to get in the bath instead and shouting a goodbye to the older man when he told him he was leaving and he’d see him later.

But Kyungsoo had already decided that he wouldn't.

After his bath Kyungsoo got dressed in the warmest outfit Jongin had gifted him with – jeans, boots and a thick cable knit sweater over a long-sleeved t-shirt – and gathered everything else that Jongin had bought for him, folding it up carefully and leaving it in a neat pile in the bottom of the closet that for a while at least, had been his.

_Jongin,_

_I want to thank you for everything you’ve done for me, you took me in when nobody else would have looked twice and for that I will always be grateful._

Kyungsoo found himself writing on a piece of paper he took from Jongin’s office as he ate his way through his favourite breakfast.

_Clearly though, it’s time that I left, I’ve never been one for overstaying my welcome. You should learn to let people in more Jongin, have some fun otherwise you’ll always be alone. Trust me, I know. I’ll never forget you, CEO Kim Jongin._

_But this is goodbye._

Shame splashed Kyungsoo’s face in steams of warm salt when he found himself crying for the first time in years as he wrote that final word. Goodbye. He’d never hated it more.

Leaving the note on the desk where he knew Jongin would find it, Kyungsoo then swallowed guilt down with loss as he packed up a small backpack that Jongin had given him with some food and a spare jumper, glancing around the apartment one last time before leaving, only to run back inside before the door could automatically lock.

Rushing to the bedroom he’d almost called his own, Kyungsoo picked through the pile of things in the closest, smiling through his tears when he found the violet scarf Jongin had bought him in _Insa-dong_.

“To remind me of our day together.” Kyungsoo whispered, wrapping the beautiful garment around his neck and leaving once more.

Kyungsoo turned his back on the kindness he’d been given because he _knew_ that after last night, after he’d given in to something he didn't fully understand – and suspected Jongin didn't either – nothing would be the same as it was before, and Kyungsoo couldn't bear for Jongin to change. Not with him.

It was finally time, time for Kyungsoo to stop living a fantasy in somebody else’s life…and go back to his own.

*****

    Moments after leaving the luxurious apartment block, Kyungsoo found himself running through the city, afraid to look back despite knowing that nobody would be following- _Jongin_ wouldn't be following.

He didn't even know that Kyungsoo had left.

The late Fall sun was bright in the blue, almost cloudless sky that gave the city the illusion of being much warmer than it actually was, and the crisp air nipped at Kyungsoo’s skin and people stared as he rushed by them; perhaps they wondered why he was in such a rush, why there were tears on his face.

Perhaps they could see the broken heart he was clutching against his chest so tightly after it had tried a leap of faith away from him- desperate to escape the _feelings_ battering him like a hurricane.

Lungs burning, Kyungsoo turned off the street into a place he’d always secretly loved because of the flowers that seemed to bloom all year round. There he found seclusion and isolation amongst the evergreen shrubs where there was a gap big enough for him to climb through.

Kyungsoo slumped down, and fell apart completely in a way he hadn’t done since he’d lost his family. He missed Jongin already, choked by the fear that he’d possibly just made the worst mistake of his life.

“Kyungsoo, are you here?”

_That_ voice. It pulled Kyungsoo from his desolation, had him wondering how the hell Jongin had found him so quickly- wasn't he supposed to be at the office?

“If you’re here I need you to answer me.” Jongin begged, “Come home with me Kyungsoo, please.”

Jongin was _searching_ for him.

Though the splinters of his heart yearned for Kyungsoo to call out to him, he remained silent. Still too afraid to _show_ him that heart in all its vulnerability, and so he did what he always did whenever life overwhelmed him-

He ran, _again_.

Back to the place where he’d unintentionally first met Jongin, back to the street corners to find himself a client to hide himself with, to _distract_ himself with.

Back to where he belonged.

But as darkness fell like so many before it, the man that wanted Kyungsoo wanted things he wasn't willing to give, things he didn't like having to do – things that _frightened_ him – only now Kyungsoo wouldn't let some _suit_ force him into it, either.

“You fucking whore!” the man shouted when Kyungsoo tried to push him away, “I paid for you to be here so you will do as I say!”

“Back the hell off him, right now.” Another voice ordered before Kyungsoo could even try to speak.

_Jongin_.

Within seconds the _client_ was not only being pulled away from him but also out of the door of the cheap motel they were in, “What are you _doing_ here?” Kyungsoo asked when Jongin turned to face him, “How did you even find me?”

“How I found you is irrelevant, the point is I did find you Kyungsoo- I _had_ to.”

“But why?”

Jongin sighed, frustrated, “Damn it Kyungsoo don't you understand, don't you _see?_ ” he asked, but didn't wait for an answer, “I’m here because I _love_ you. I’m so sorry that I hurt you, that I hid my feelings behind fear but please, come home with me.”

For an endless moment, Kyungsoo was speechless, “I don't know if I can.”

“I’ll never force you into anything you don't want Kyungsoo, but I can take you away from this life that I _know_ you hate.” Jongin tried again, “I can save you, if you’ll let me.”

“What makes you think I need saving?”

Jongin reached out and pressed a gentle hand to Kyungsoo’s cheek, “Because in some way, I think we all do.” He sighed heavily, “All I want is for us to be together, I know you worry that you don't belong Kyungsoo but I promise you that you _do_. We can be married if that’s what you want, and I’ll spend my whole life making you happy- you’ll never be lonely again. Neither of us will.”

“Jongin ah.” Kyungsoo almost whispered, stepping into Jongin’s arms, into his _warmth_ , “I love you too. So much it scares me.”

“There’s nothing to fear Kyungsoo,” Jongin promised, leaning so close Kyungsoo felt the words more than he heard them, “Not anymore.”

Rain. It came down hard and heavy, pelting against brick and concrete, the wooden boards across the windows of the abandoned warehouse and jolting Kyungsoo from his dreams- his _nightmares_. Wiping tears from his eyes, he curled himself tighter against the wall as though it would somehow act as a barrier from the world that seemed emptier now than it ever had.

Kyungsoo was so sick of crying.

He had cried that first night away from Jongin, from dusk until dawn, but his blue-eyed saviour hadn’t come for him a second time; just as Kyungsoo had known he wouldn't.

Almost two weeks had gone by since then, and he hadn’t seen Jongin once, but why would he? Jongin wasn't in love with him, wouldn't want to make their _arrangement_ a permanent thing; Kyungsoo was still a prostitute, after all.

He knew he couldn't entrust Jongin with his safety forever, and certainly couldn’t spill his feelings _or_ his past, they had barely known one another- it wasn't right. Or fair. Especially after the way Jongin had reacted to the night they’d spent wrapped up in nothing but the heat of each other.

It still stung every time Kyungsoo thought about it.

Never one to truly crumble under the weight of life though, Kyungsoo had adapted much like he always had, only now the memory of Jongin’s warmth helped sooth him through nights growing increasingly cold.

He’d been trying to stay smart too, wearing his backpack on his front at night, underneath his coat whenever he had to sleep to try and prevent anybody from stealing it; it was the only connection he had left to the life he’d almost known.

It may have been Kyungsoo’s decision to leave, but that didn't mean it hurt any less. He really did miss Jongin and hated his dreams for taunting him with illusions where the handsome CEO saved him once again. The illusion differed every night but the ending was always the same; Jongin loved him and wanted to take him home so they could be together.

Forever.

Blinking rapidly to keep the tears from spilling over, Kyungsoo busied himself rummaging through his backpack, sighing heavily when he realised he was almost out of food. It was just snacks really, but still he ate some shortbread and drank it down with some bottled water.

That would have to do for tonight.

Taking a deep breath, Kyungsoo dragged himself to his feet, night had fallen after all and it was time for him to go to _work_. He needed to find himself a client tonight; he needed the money for food.

_That’s what I get for not actually letting Jongin pay me,_ he thought bitterly as he headed into the city, back to the business district where he stood on a street corner with his coat over his shoulder to reveal the barely there clothes he was wearing underneath.

Kyungsoo told himself he wasn't shivering, that the cold biting into his skin didn't make him yearn for the warmth of Jongin’s arms around him. Perhaps if he lied to himself often enough, eventually he would start to believe it.

It seemed to be a relatively quiet night, which was as much a blessing as it was a curse. No clients meant no selling his body tonight, but it also meant no money, no warm motel room to spend a few hours in.

Kyungsoo wished there was more to his life than this. That he was _worth_ more than standing on a street corner offering sex in exchange for money, but he wasn't good at anything else. Not anymore, despite what Jongin may have told him.

The only silver lining lately was that – thanks to Jongin – having nicer clothes to wear (when he wasn't working) had resulted in people being much more polite to him, even the shop assistants didn't suspect him of doing anything wrong, didn't bother checking up on his bathroom (washing) activities.

It was nice.

But the businessmen that paid for him didn't change, the were demanding and rude, cruel and sometimes a little violent; it was a far cry from the tender caresses Jongin had lavished his body with on that one night that would probably stay with him forever.

Even before then, Jongin had been good to him without expecting anything in return; it made him miss him more than ever.

“Finally.” Kyungsoo muttered under his breath when a sleek black car pulled over, headlights flashing to signal him over.

“Hey big guy,” Kyungsoo almost purred as he leaned into the tinted window as it rolled down, “Want me to come help keep you warm for the night?”

“I would love for you to come home with me, yes.” A deep voice answered, and Kyungsoo swore his heart almost stopped when he found himself staring into bottomless eyes the colour of a summer storm.

“Jongin!” he cried, taking several steps backward, “What’re you _doing_ here?”

“I was looking for you.” Jongin answered simply, “I don't want you out here in the cold Kyungsoo, it’s not right just- come home with me?”

Kyungsoo had to pinch his frozen skin to make sure he wasn't dreaming when Jongin got out of the car, “You must be crazy, I can’t come home with you Jongin- I’m working.”

“I’m so sorry I hurt you with the things I said, Kyungsoo.” Jongin continued as though he hadn’t heard him, “I realised what we’d done and I overreacted- I didn't mean a word of it.”

“Jongin it doesn't matter-“

“It _does_ . It does matter.” Jongin interrupted, “It matters because even though I know you’ll never admit it I _hurt_ you when I promised I wasn't going to. I miss you Kyungsoo, for as scary as that is for me to tell you, it’s true. Nothing is the same without you now.”

Kyungsoo had to fight to ignore the way his racing heart seemed to _reach_ for Jongin, “I had to leave sometime.”

“Why?”

“I already told you, we’re not friends Jongin, really we barely know each other.” Kyungsoo said, “The deal was _until my chest infection was better,_ and it is.” The way Jongin’s face fell had Kyungsoo swallowing the lump of emotion now lodged in his throat, “I’m so grateful for your kindness, but I had to leave.”

“Did you even _like_ being in my company?” Jongin snapped, anger and hurt spilling into his voice, “Or was I just another job to you?”

“Of course not!” Kyungsoo blurted before he could stop himself, “Jongin being with you was unlike anything I’ve ever experienced but we just don't _fit_.”

“What the hell do you mean by that?”

“Look at us, we’re from two completely different worlds Jongin, and I just don't fit into yours- I don't fit into your _life_.”

“Because you’ve taken yourself out of it!” Jongin shouted, then sighed heavily, pushing a frustrated hand through the mercury of his hair, “What about if I paid for your time, would you come home with me then?”

Kyungsoo smiled sadly, “Keep your money Jongin,” he told him softly, “Keep it for something, _somebody_ worthwhile. I won’t take anything else from you, I _can’t_.”

“But _you’re_ worthwhile.” Jongin said quietly, though his shoulders were already slumped in defeat.

“Thanks for coming to find me anyway.”

“I wish you’d reconsider.” Jongin told him with a heavy sigh.

Curling his hands into the sleeve of Jongin’s jacket, Kyungsoo pushed up to press a kiss to his cheek, “That’s for caring about a homeless prostitute that didn't deserve it.”

“You will always deserve to be cared for, Kyungsoo.” Jongin told him firmly, reaching into his jacket pocket to retrieve a business card and pen, “Take this, should you ever change your mind.”

Kyungsoo looked at the back of the small card, reading over the numbers Jongin had scrawled across it, _1288_ , “What is it?”

“The code for the apartment building where I- _we_ live, so if you ever want to come back you can.” Jongin explained, “Or if you just need to see me…for anything.”

Kyungsoo’s stunned silence seemed to worry Jongin, “Please Kyungsoo, just promise you’ll come to me if you ever need help. That’s all I ask.”

Kyungsoo nodded, “I promise.”

A quick kiss to his cheek and Jongin was gone, sliding back into his car and driving away, leaving Kyungsoo to miss him the second he was out of sight, and wonder if it was possible to fall into the cracks of his own broken heart.

Disappearing forever didn't sound so bad right now.

*****

    Weeks went by, leaving the world cloaked in ice and loneliness as autumn truly gave way to winter, and Kyungsoo had lost count of the amount of times he’d wanted to give in to the yearning in his heart and run to Jongin – to his safe place to hide – sometimes he even got as far as the front gate of the apartment blocked before his senses came back to him and he left faster than he’d arrived.

Each and every time something happened that Kyungsoo suddenly felt he couldn't deal with, every time a client was too rough with him or even just when he couldn't stand the situation he was in any longer he wanted (needed) to escape.

And each and every time Kyungsoo wouldn't give in, denied himself the one thing he truly longed for until it started causing him physical pain; pain he hadn’t known he could feel until now.

“You’re such a naughty boy, aren’t you?” the _silver spoon_ client he was currently with half moaned behind him, the words followed by a sharp slap to his ass that jolted Kyungsoo from his thoughts, “Aren’t you?”

“Y-yes.” Kyungsoo stuttered out when the man spanked him again, “I’m a very naughty boy.”

Kyungsoo had never been a fan of kinks – hated practising them with men he didn't even know – but he couldn't exactly refuse when he was being paid to let the guy spank him and tell him he was naughty; he needed the money for food.

“And what happens to boys that are naughty?” The man asked, words slurring thanks to the wine they’d been drinking earlier before he’d decided he wanted his money’s worth.

_It’s probably his idea of treating me right,_ Kyungsoo thought, _a cheap motel room and red wine that tastes like paint stripper_.

“They get punished.” Kyungsoo whimpered, giving his client exactly what he knew he wanted; his submission.

He lost count of the smacks after a while, the endless names the middle aged man called him, turning over obediently when told to and spreading his legs to accept the cock already pushing greedily at his entrance.

The man pinned Kyungsoo’s hands to the mattress so hard it hurt as he thrust inside him quickly and brutally; it made his heart skitter in fear because he hated being restrained.

“N-not so hard.” Kyungsoo pleaded when his head started to hit the headboard with every other bang of the man’s hips, “Please, you’re hurting me.”

“Shut up.” the other man growled, backhanding Kyungsoo as he fucked him harder still, “Shut up and take it like the dirty slut you are- I know you love this just as much as me. Tell me…tell me you love it-” the words were punctuated by a moan, “Tell me how much you fucking love my cock.”

_Clearly_ the fact that Kyungsoo’s cock was all but flaccid against his stomach meant nothing to a rich asshole; he was going to have to fake it.

Kyungsoo closed his eyes as he moaned the words obscenely, trying to imagine Jongin on top of him in the hope that it would take the edge off.

But the illusion soon shattered leaving Kyungsoo desperately fighting off the fear that threatened to consume him when the man suddenly wrapped a big hand around his throat, squeezing as he fucked him; effectively choking him.

Blinking back tears Kyungsoo tried to get him to stop but he wouldn't, not until he’d come hard and finally, _finally_ pulled off him, “Why the fuck didn't you come?” the man demanded as Kyungsoo lay there coughing and shaking, “Do you think you’re better than this- that you deserve _more_? Hm, do you slut?”

“N-no, please…no more.” Kyungsoo gasped when the other man advanced on him again, turning him over onto his front, dragging his ass up and pressing his face down into the dirty sheets, “Enough, _please_.”

“It’s enough when I say it’s enough.” The man growled, “You’re not going anywhere until you learn to be a good whore, and give me what I want.”

Frightened yet running on a sudden surge of adrenaline, Kyungsoo lifted one of his legs and kicked back hard, slamming into the other man’s thigh and making him yell out in pained fury.

Turning over and into another backhanded slap, Kyungsoo reacted impulsively and hit back, only realising his mistake when he was then shoved with so much force he lost his balance and tumbled onto the floor in a trembling heap.

“Let go of me!” Kyungsoo shouted when he tried to gather his things and make a run for it, only to be dragged back inside and forced back onto the bed.

The older man leered at him, “Now I’m going to show you how disobedient whores are treated where I’m from.”

Screaming in agony and terror when the man took his time in torturing him, Kyungsoo tried again and again to fight back, but to no avail; the other man was much bigger than him.

Unable to comprehend how twisted and sadistic his client had become in mere moments, beating him and lighting cigarettes only to put them out on Kyungsoo’s shivering flesh, Kyungsoo found himself suddenly fearing for his life.

He had thought the man was going to rape him- now he thought he might actually _kill_ him.

Kyungsoo didn't know how long it lasted – seconds, minutes, hours – as he lay there, ribs cracking under the weight of violence as the man choked him to the point of near unconsciousness more than once, jolting him back to the present by cutting patterns into his skin with a pocketknife he’d pulled from who knows where.

“Please…please stop.” Kyungsoo whimpered, terrified that this was the end, that he’d actually let some kind of psychopathic serial killer hire him for the night.

A night that may well be his last.

Kyungsoo found himself thinking about Jongin, his handsome smiling face, his gentle touch and soothing words; if he died here he would _never_ see him again, and somehow that hurt more than the torture he was being subjected to.

But it also gave Kyungsoo unimaginable strength, strength to fight back and kick the other man over and over until he was forced to move, being rewarded for his efforts by the wine bottle from earlier being smashed over his head.

Delirious, Kyungsoo refused to give up, reaching for the lamp standing on the bedside table, lashing out and hitting the man over the head with it as hard as he could, causing him to yelp in pain before he dropped onto him heavily. Unconscious, or at least he was for now.

Moving quickly, Kyungsoo wriggled out from underneath him, stumbling around the room and struggling to dress himself. All he could find of his clothes was his shirt and briefs so he pulled them on quickly, too afraid to linger too long to find the rest.

He did grab his backpack though, because inside it was the violet scarf Jongin had bought him, and he wouldn't lose that for anything.

Staggering from the room and into the stairwell, Kyungsoo tried to think through the dizziness and the racing of his heart long enough to decide what to do next, “Jongin.”

He had nowhere else to go.

*****


	5. Five.

*****

Kyungsoo was running.

His bare feet were pelting against the jagged and uneven ground. Small stones and bits of broken glass embedded themselves into his flesh, tearing the tender skin.

Frightened, frenetic, he barely felt the pain in his feet.

Kyungsoo was running.

Weaving his way through the eerie darkness down streets that were all but deserted and too afraid to slow down for fear of that beast following him, covered in blood and still wearing nothing but his shirt and briefs; he was almost glad that there was nobody around to witness his destruction.

Kyungsoo was running.

It was the middle of the night and he could barely see through the tears he was crying and the blood running rivers down his face. He heard nothing but the ringing in his ears and the wild, panicked _thump thump thump_ of his heart that he was sure was trying to burst through his ribcage in a last desperate attempt to be free of the pain this life had caused him.

Kyungsoo was running.

His breath was ragged and broken in his lungs, he could barely breathe but he forced himself to keep going, keep moving and keep _running_ because if he stopped now, he’d probably never get going again.

He allowed instinct to guide him through the seemingly endless blocks that would take him to the only place he’d felt safe in years- Jongin’s apartment.

Bolting up to the front gates, Kyungsoo punched in the code he’d memorized the night Jongin gave it to him, over and over because his hands were shaking so badly he kept pressing the wrong numbers- hoping against hope that Jongin was home and would take him in like he’d promised him once.

“Excuse me sir, but where are you going?” the twenty-four hour security guard asked him when he raced through the main lobby towards the elevator.

“I n-need to get to the penthouse.” Kyungsoo stammered, whimpering when the guard ushered him away from the elevator.

“We can’t let you do that,” the man told him, “What you need is a hospital.”

“No!” Kyungsoo all but screamed, alerting the other guards to his presence, “Please you don't understand- I just need Jongin.”

“Who is Jongin?” another guard asked him kindly, talking to him as though he were a frightened animal.

“K-Kim Jongin, he lives in the penthouse.” Kyungsoo managed between laboured breaths and sobs, “CEO Kim Jongin o-of KA-I Industries- please call him. Call him and tell him Kyungsoo is here and needs his help…he’ll know me I s-swear.”

“You really should go to a hospital-“

“I’m not going anywhere until I’ve seen Jongin.”

Nodding, the guard tried to get Kyungsoo to walk with him to the seating area, but he panicked when the man touched him, “Don't touch me!” he shouted, voice high pitched and thick with fear, “Only Jongin can touch me!”

Apologising, the guard made the call, and Kyungsoo was trembling with both fear and exertion by the time the elevator doors slid open (though it was probably only a few minutes) to reveal Jongin looking all kinds of worried.

“You came for me.” Kyungsoo said, the relief so great his legs buckled and he collapsed forward, unable to stand a second longer.

“Of course I came- Kyungsoo what the hell happened?” Jongin exclaimed, catching him as he fell and lowering them both to the floor.

“I…I w-was with a client…we were y’know and I didn't- I wasn't _good_ enough for him and he got so angry…he h-hit me and- and-“ Kyungsoo’s voice failed him, he was shaking like a leaf in the wind and his chest heaved so heavily the pain made it hard to breathe.

“Ssh, Kyungsoo it’s okay, it’s okay.” Jongin soothed, hugging him close and holding him gently, “Just take your time, and try to breathe. Just focus on me and breathe, can you do that for me?”

“Is there anything I can do to help, Kim Jongin sshi?” the security guard asked, clearly distressed by the scene unfolding before him.

Jongin shook his head no. “I’ll take it from here. Thank you for your help.” He turned to Kyungsoo again, “Just focus on me Kyungsoo, and _breathe_.”

After a minute or two Kyungsoo nodded, focusing on Jongin’s familiar, friendly face, gripping his hands tightly and forcing himself to relax enough to breathe through the panic attack he was gripped in.

“There you go.” Jongin smiled when Kyungsoo’s breathing began to regulate, standing up only to bend down and scoop Kyungsoo up into his arms, “Let’s go get you cleaned up.”

Jongin took him into the elevator and didn't put him down even for a second, just carried him back to the penthouse as though he weighed nothing whilst Kyungsoo clung to him, sobbing quietly.

“Let me take this.” Jongin said softly when he set Kyungsoo down in the bathroom, taking the backpack he was still clutching tightly.

They were mostly quiet whilst Jongin carefully cleaned up the mess left by a creature that had turned out to be more beast than man. Jongin took his time tweezing stones and glass from Kyungsoo’s feet before washing them carefully with antiseptic, and Kyungsoo just sat there, crying quietly as the older man then ran a bath, removed what was left of his clothes and set him down in the warm water, washing him carefully all over and gently shampooing his blood-soaked hair.

It was painful, and Kyungsoo found himself apologising for the sobs and whimpers of pain that escaped his lips despite his best efforts to hold them back.

“Don't you ever say sorry Kyungsoo, none of this is your fault. It’s that animal you’ve been with tonight.” Jongin told him firmly, stroking gentle fingers through wet hair, “What did he do to you angel?”

“He h-hit me so hard and f-fast I couldn't even move. The f-force knocked me onto the floor…I tried to escape but he kept hitting me and h-he burned me with cigarettes, cut me with a knife. He kept c-choking me…squeezing so tightly I thought- Jongin I thought I was going to die!” Kyungsoo sobbed brokenly.

“You listen to me Kyungsoo, you’re safe here with me now.” Jongin told him, kneeling beside the bath and taking Kyungsoo’s battered face in his hands, “You’ll always be safe here with me.”

“I-I struggled…harder than I t-thought I could and j-just when I thought I might-“ Kyungsoo broke off, taking a deep, shuddering breath, knowing that he needed to get it out or the memory would haunt him forever, “h-he hit me with a wine bottle. All I could taste was blood…s-so much blood. But somehow…I managed to grab the bedside lamp and…I h-hit him with it, knocked him out…a-and then I ran. I j-just ran away…and came here, just like you t-told me to.”

“My brave, brave, _beautiful_ Kyungsoo.” Jongin whispered, kissing his head softly, “I love you.”

Before Kyungsoo could respond, Jongin lifted him out of the tub, towelling him dry gently, and Kyungsoo had to bite his lip to keep from sobbing when he caught sight of his face in the mirror, purple with bruises, split lips and one eye almost completely swollen shut; he felt like a monster.

Leading Kyungsoo to his bedroom, Jongin dressed him in one of his loose t-shirts and tucked him into bed before climbing in beside him, holding him gently.

“I don’t want to live like this anymore Jongin, I don't.” Kyungsoo said into the warmth of the other man’s bare chest, “Tonight finally made me see that I want to take back what they stole…I want every tear I’ve ever had to cry and I want my freedom I just- I’m so afraid.”

“Don't be, I’m right here for you now Kyungsoo, I’ll take care of you.” Jongin promised, “You can stay here with me and you’ll be safe. And one day, I’ll turn those tears to roses and show you the kind of love you deserve, the love you should have had from the very beginning, before everything fell apart.”

“Jongin I-“ Kyungsoo started, gasping when Jongin pressed a kiss to the corner of his mouth.

“Ssh, it’s okay.” Jongin hushed, settling him down, “There’s no rush.”

_I love you, I love you and I’ll wait,_ Kyungsoo heard, though Jongin didn’t say another word.

*****

    Seoul District Hospital. A place that just the sight of had Kyungsoo nauseous and shaking all over.

“Are you okay Kyungsoo?” Jongin asked, carefully pulling into a space in the crowded parking lot.

Kyungsoo nodded, “I just hate hospitals.”

“You’ll be fine I promise.” Jongin assured him as they climbed out of the car, squeezing his hands tightly before they headed inside, “I’ll stay with you if that’s what you want.”

“I don't think I could do it without you.”

Though Kyungsoo had woken late in the day to Jongin watching over him and stroking his hair gently, he hadn’t mentioned his confession of love- instead telling him that a trip to the hospital was in order; if nothing else his head wound needed stitches.

It made Kyungsoo wonder if he’d imagined the whole thing, he had been pretty delirious at the time; it wouldn't surprise him, even if there did seem to be something _more_ in Jongin’s brilliant smile today, hidden in the blue-grey depths of his eyes.

Busying himself reading the leaflets pinned to the various notice boards so he didn't have to focus on the other sick and wounded people in the hospital whilst Jongin went to speak to somebody about seeing a doctor, Kyungsoo didn't know whether he was relieved or terrified that in what seemed like no time at all a young female doctor – with brunette hair twisted in an elegant bun at her nape, he noticed – approached him, calling his name.

“Do Kyungsoo?” she asked again when Kyungsoo remained silent and rooted to the spot.

“That’s right,” Jongin chimed in, wrapping a protective arm around Kyungsoo’s shoulders, “He’s had quite an ordeal- I think he’s still in some state of shock.”

“I see, well Kyungsoo, I’m Dr Lee Sooyoung,” she smiled as she turned back to him, “So if you’d like to follow me I can see what we can do to make you feel better, okay?”

“C-can Jongin come too?” Kyungsoo managed to ask, voice barely more than a worried squeak.

Dr Lee nodded, “Of course.”

Kyungsoo liked her already.

“He was assaulted late last night.” Jongin explained to the doctor the moment they were in a private room, “I took care of him as best I could but he has a head wound that keeps bleeding and severe bruising on his ribs.” He paused as he helped Kyungsoo change into a starchy hospital gown ready for examination, “Please give him the best care available- money isn’t a problem.”

Dr Lee nodded, “Of course sir.” She smiled kindly at Kyungsoo again, “Okay, let’s have a look at you shall we?”

Giving his consent, Kyungsoo smiled despite himself when Jongin turned his back whilst the doctor checked the extent of his injuries. He ended up with several stitches in his head and on his chest after all the wounds had been cleaned with antiseptic. It was painful, but he knew it was a necessary pain.

“Okay your ribs are most definitely bruised but I think you’ve escaped any breaks,” Dr Lee told him, “You have a concussion but it definitely could have been worse, I’ll prescribe some painkillers to help with that- can you tell me what happened to you, Kyungsoo?”

The question caught him off guard, but still he nodded, taking a shaky breath before attempting to speak, “I was with a…man, he got so angry without warning-“ he paused, heart breaking at just how saddened Jongin looked, “He…he hurt me but I managed to get away- I went to Jongin for help.”

Dr Lee smiled sadly, “You were very brave, Kyungsoo. And I’m sorry I have to ask but, did he rape you?”

With tears in his eyes, Kyungsoo shook his head, “No…I thought he was going to but- no.”

“You’ve been very lucky, but you’ll need plenty of bed rest- no over exertion for at least a few weeks.”

“No, no I don't want to stay in the hospital!” Kyungsoo cried, already panicked at the idea of it.

“Ssh, Kyungsoo it’s alright.” Jongin spoke up, moving to his side and kissing his head gently, “I’ll take care of you at home- that’s okay right doctor?”

Dr Lee nodded, “As long as you make sure he rests, I see no problems.”

“I’ll work from home, or take some time off completely until he’s feeling better.” Jongin told her firmly, and it made Kyungsoo smile.

Perhaps he hadn’t imagined Jongin’s confession, after all.

“Jongin ah, could you give me a minute alone with the doctor?” Kyungsoo asked, pleased when Jongin nodded and smiled at him.

“Of course, I’ll be right outside if you need me.” Jongin said, kissing his forehead before leaving the room quietly.

Turning back to the doctor, Kyungsoo took another steadying breath, “You’re probably going to think differently of me for this,” he started, wincing a little when he shifted to try and get more comfortable, “But I thought you should know that I’m a wh- sex worker, and I was homeless for several years before I met Jongin.” He smiled at the thought of the older man waiting just outside for him, “He took me in and he’s been very good to me, but I’d like you to give me whatever the standard tests are for um… _disease_ , so Jongin doesn't have to worry about me.”

“That’s no problem at all, Kyungsoo.” She told him kindly, “I can do that for you before you leave.”

“Do you think I’m disgusting now?”

“Of course not.” Dr Lee said as she gathered the things she would need to take some of his blood, “All my life all I want to do is help people- regardless as to what path life has taken them down. I don’t judge Kyungsoo, so don't worry.”

Kyungsoo smiled, “You’re very kind.”

The rest of the visit to the hospital passed in a blur thanks to him feeling faint when the doctor had drawn blood; he chose not to mention it to Jongin though, he was worried enough already.

“How’re you feeling?” Jongin asked as he led the way into the penthouse, helping Kyungsoo with his coat and hanging it up in the hallway.

Kyungsoo managed a soft laugh, “Honestly, a little like a human pincushion. I’m tired too.”

“Then you should rest.” Jongin said, “Doctors orders, after all.”

“I don't want to be alone.” Kyungsoo admitted before he could stop himself.

Jongin moved closer, bending to press a soft kiss to his hair, “You don't have to be.”

Taking him to the master bedroom again, Jongin helped Kyungsoo undress so he’d be more comfortable before settling him in bed, sitting beside him on it and wrapping a strong arm around Kyungsoo when he snuggled closer almost automatically.

Jongin was so warm, so comfortable, so _safe_ that Kyungsoo could feel himself drifting already, “Are you staying until I fall asleep?”

“I’m staying until you wake up again.” Jongin said quietly, “So get some rest angel, you’re not alone anymore.”

Smiling to himself as he breathed in Jongin’s warmth, Kyungsoo sighed, curling his fingers into the older man’s shirt as he let unconsciousness claim him.

Something had shifted between them, he could feel it, and despite everything he’d been through, Kyungsoo was suddenly starting to feel incredibly lucky.

*****

    As it turned out, Kyungsoo was a terrible patient. He didn't like not being able to go out or being practically spoon-fed until his bruises had started healing properly. It made him feel weak, vulnerable.

Kyungsoo never mentioned it to Jongin though, because he clearly enjoyed having somebody to take care of and, Kyungsoo supposed, it wasn't _completely_ terrible, being comforted and looked after; clearly he’d just been alone for far too long.

Thankfully though, after more than two weeks of being confined to his bed – when Kyungsoo _had_ started complaining about feeling stir crazy – Jongin had relented by consenting to setting up a ‘sofa bed’ for during the day but Kyungsoo was to stay put unless he needed the bathroom.

He decided to take what he could get.

“Unless it’s an emergency I won’t be in the office for the next couple of weeks,” Kyungsoo heard Jongin telling somebody over the phone one afternoon, “All I want is a detailed weekly report that I will respond to- that’s where all questions will be answered.” A pause whilst whoever was on the other line responded, “I’m taking some time off for an important family matter.”

Blushing hotly when Jongin caught him staring and threw a wink his way, Kyungsoo turned away but couldn't help smiling at Jongin’s choice of words; he’d said _family_.

Kyungsoo briefly wondered if he was running away with himself or reading too far into the situation – Jongin could hardly tell his employees that he was pretty much babysitting a prostitute – but it made his stomach flip pleasantly regardless; he really was growing attached to his handsome CEO.

And for as much as that scared the hell out of him Kyungsoo could no longer deny it, either.

“So, difficult to please patient of mine,” Jongin said as he sat down on the sofa, lifting Kyungsoo’s legs so he could drape them over his lap, “How’re you feeling today, any complaints?”

“If you keep doing _that_ ,” Kyungsoo started, nodding to where the older man was now rubbing Kyungsoo’s feet almost absently, “I’ll have no complaints ever again.”

Jongin’s answering laugh was a wonderful sound, “Foot rubs are part of my patient care package, didn't you know?”

Kyungsoo laughed, shaking his head.

“Seriously though Kyungsoo, are you okay?” Jongin asked, “You’ve been through so much and-“

“And you saved me, again.” Kyungsoo interrupted, “You’re my hero.” He said, heat in his cheeks despite the words being meant as a joke, “I’d really like something to _do_ though- I don't think I can sit through another episode of _Buffy the Vampire Slayer._ ”

Jongin gasped, “Hey, that’s my all time favourite show!”

“Really? I hadn’t noticed.” Kyungsoo sniggered.

“Fine, fine.” Jongin huffed, pouting in a way that made Kyungsoo (not for the first time) wish he could bring himself to kiss him, “How about drawing? That will keep you occupied until you’re properly healed.”

Of _course_ a designer would suggest drawing, Kyungsoo thought, but decided to humour Jongin anyway, “Sure, why not. I’ll warn you though, my artistic talent extends to multi-coloured stick men and that’s about it.”

Jongin laughed again, already on his feet to gather supplies.

“Choose a subject you think of often, or a specific object you’d like to draw.” Jongin told him as he handed him a drawing pad and a couple of pencils.

“How about him?” Kyungsoo said, pointing to the little penguin figurine in the window that Jongin had told him was from _Sea World_ in Florida.

He went with object rather than subject he thought of often; he could hardly draw a picture of him and Jongin kissing now, could he?

“Cute choice.” Jongin smiled, sitting beside him once more to show him how to make basic sketches before getting to work on his penguin properly.

It was a strange experience for Kyungsoo, curling up on the sofa to draw whilst Jongin retrieved his laptop and sat at the opposite end of the sofa, but one he enjoyed nonetheless.

He almost felt at _home_.

Until of course Kyungsoo discovered that drawing _really_ wasn't his strong point, and after seemingly endless attempts at getting his lines right and failing miserably he got annoyed with his penguin that looked more like a grey blob with eyes and feet.

“What’s wrong?” Jongin laughed when Kyungsoo threw his pencil on the floor with an exaggerated huff.

“I _told_ you I couldn't draw.”

“Sure you can- everybody can to some extent.” Jongin told him, setting his laptop down when Kyungsoo pouted moodily, “Here, let me help.”

When Jongin retrieved the pencil from the floor, all Kyungsoo could do was gasp slightly when he then carefully pulled him into his lap, the drawing pad on Kyungsoo’s knee.

Suddenly the feel of Jongin’s body against his back was far more interesting to Kyungsoo than the art he was supposed to be learning, but he still _hurt_ far too much to even consider trying anything; not that he imagined Jongin would let him anyway.

Overprotective fool. Overprotective, _loveable_ fool, he quickly amended.

Kyungsoo tried to focus on what Jongin was saying, he really did, but the deep timbre of his voice against the shell of his ear was _very_ distracting.

“Do you understand?” Jongin asked, and Kyungsoo found himself just nodding even though _no_ , he didn't because he hadn’t heard a word the other man had said.

“You weren’t even listening were you?” Jongin laughed.

_Busted_ , “Sorry.” Kyungsoo apologised, smiling sheepishly and feeling giddy when Jongin kissed his cheek.

“Here, hold the pencil.” Jongin told him, and this time Kyungsoo _did_ listen, and did as he was asked.

He felt warm all over when Jongin then placed a hand over his so that he could draw _with_ him. He taught Kyungsoo how to make soft strokes with the pencil as they copied the shape of the penguin together, lines and curves soon taking form, and he was surprised to find that not only was he actually drawing (sort of) but he was _enjoying_ it, too.

“Shade, colour or paint,” Jongin said when the penguin jumped out on the page, “What’s your poison?”

“I should probably keep it simple for now.” Kyungsoo said, “Stick to the pencil.”

Jongin smiled and nodded, showing him how to blend countless shades of black and grey until they came together to create a lively little fellow in the centre of the ivory coloured paper.

“I’m calling him Mumble,” Kyungsoo announced proudly, “After-“

“Happy Feet.” Jongin finished with a laugh.

Tearing the page from the book, Kyungsoo twisted gingerly so he could see Jongin better, “In comparison to what you’ve given me Jongin, this really isn’t much but-“ he held the picture out shyly, “I want you to have it.”

Jongin looked surprised, if not a little emotional, “Thank you Kyungsoo, it’s beautiful- but not as beautiful as you.”

The compliment made Kyungsoo flush all over, and when Jongin’s hands found purchase on his hips as he leaned closer he knew the other man was going to kiss him, and for the first time; he didn't want to stop him.

The sudden, shrill ringing of the telephone had them both jumping as the moment shattered, and Jongin groaned as he shifted Kyungsoo off his lap carefully to go and answer it.

“Kim Jongin.” He said into the phone, his CEO Kim persona in place once more, “Kyungsoo it’s for you, Dr Lee from the hospital.” He said, confusion and concern etched all over his beautiful face when Kyungsoo told him to put the call on speakerphone.

“Hello Dr Lee.” Kyungsoo greeted when she said hello, “I assume you have my tests results so- am I dying, or crazy perhaps?”

The doctor’s laugh crackled over the line, “None of the above. You’re mildly anaemic but other than that you have a clean slate Kyungsoo. No sexually transmitted infections of any kind and no other anomalies or defects; when you’ve properly healed from your ordeal you will be in perfect health.”

“Thank you so much.” Kyungsoo smiled, more relieved than he expected to be after a check-up.

“You’re more than welcome. And please don't hesitate to call my office if you need any further medical assistance.”

“I will.”

“Goodbye Kyungsoo, Mr Kim.” She bid her polite farewell to both of them, silence settling over the room when the line went dead.

Unsure of whether to feel intimidated by the unreadable expression on Jongin’s face, Kyungsoo found himself twisting the blankets in his hands nervously, “I thought um- I thought you’d feel better if you knew for sure I was clean y’know…just in case.” He started to ramble the more nervous he got, “Not that I expect you to want me like that but- oh God, just say something Jongin, please.”

Still Jongin didn't say a word, but a moment later he was crossing back to Kyungsoo, pulling him into his arms and holding him so tightly against his chest Kyungsoo could feel the other man’s heart racing wildly.

“You didn't have to do that for me, angel.” Jongin spoke into his hair, “I already loved you, anyway.”

_Love_ . There it was again. That word, that _feeling_ ; Kyungsoo only wished he could say for sure he felt it too; right now he was too overwhelmed to understand _what_ he was feeling.

“So…what does this mean?” Jongin asked quietly, “Where do you want to go from here?”

Looking at Jongin then, Kyungsoo knew he could resist no longer, “I want you to kiss me.”

“You want me to-“ Jongin blinked in shock, “Are you sure?”

“Kiss me Jongin, please.” Kyungsoo spoke quietly, his voice no more than a whisper, heat in his cheeks as he finally gave in to what he’d been wanting for what seemed like forever.

Their faces were now so close together that their noses touch softly, and Kyungsoo let his eyes flutter closed when Jongin bridged the gap between them completely, capturing his lips with a gentle kiss.

“Jongin ah.” Kyungsoo almost whimpered when they separated, and Jongin smiled before sliding a hand around Kyungsoo’s nape, pulling him closer once more, into a kiss much deeper than the chaste one before it.

Sighing against Jongin’s mouth when he shifted Kyungsoo into his lap properly, holding him as close as possible without hurting him as their kiss became much more heated, Jongin’s natural sensuality leaving Kyungsoo to decide right there that the feel of their lips moulding together again and again – the _taste_ of the passion that crackled between them like electricity – was the most wonderful thing he’d ever experienced.

“I love you.” Jongin whispered against his lips before pecking them again several times.

Kyungsoo couldn't say it back, but he rubbed his nose against Jongin’s affectionately and kissed him again; he only hoped it didn't hurt Jongin too much, because that was the _last_ thing he wanted to do.

He just needed more time.

“Jongin?” Kyungsoo said when he’d curled himself into the older man’s lap properly, his head against Jongin’s chest.

“Hm?”

“Can I ask you a personal question?”

“Of course.” Jongin told him, not seeming at all surprised by the sudden change in direction “I don't want to hide anything from you.”

He smiled into the material of Jongin’s shirt, “Why do you never talk about your family?”

Kyungsoo felt the tiny hitch in Jongin’s breath, and he was quiet for a long moment, busying himself with wrapping one of the blankets around Kyungsoo and pulling him closer still, “There isn’t really anything for me to say about them,” Jongin spoke eventually, lips against Kyungsoo’s hair, “I was born into a wealthy family as you know, and my parents had very specific ideas about how they wanted me to live my life. Ideas I didn't like.”

Kyungsoo allowed his hand to press against where Jongin’s heart was pounding, rubbing in tiny circles in the hope of comforting him a little, “My father wanted me to marry a woman to _stop me being gay_ ,” Jongin continued, the words bitter, “And to seal a business deal with a marriage union. My mother wanted me to follow my father’s footsteps into the business the family had owned for generations, but I didn't want that for myself.”

“Over time I lost count of the arguments we had about it, even my older sister didn't approve of my choices, and eventually my father threatened to disown me if I didn't get my act together.”

“What did you do?” Kyungsoo asked, looking up at Jongin when he fell quiet for several minutes.

Jongin smiled sadly, “I took a risk and went out on my own, set up my own business with the money I had in my trust fund, and built it up from the ground by myself.” A humourless laugh spilled from his lips, “Of course when the business took off they were all _so proud_ of me, and wanted to be a part of my life again.”

“Do you see them at all then?”

“We talk occasionally, but I rarely see them. They still don't approve of my personal choices, and I refuse to make myself miserable because of people who don't really know me anymore, anyway.”

“You’re the most wonderful person I’ve ever met, Jongin.” Kyungsoo blurted, “So I can’t see why anybody would ever want to change you.”

Jongin laughed awkwardly, “Thank you, angel.” He said, fingers brushing unruly strands of hair from Kyungsoo’s face.

Jongin’s endearment of choice never ceased to make Kyungsoo smile, more so when Jongin kissed him again.

“And in case you were wondering, my friends were the same. All from the ‘approved circle’ my parents created so they thought just like them- most other people I’ve met are only interested in me because of my wealth and social status.”

Kyungsoo wrinkled his nose in distaste, “Then you need better friends. Maybe you should get out more and socialise- there are plenty of people out there who don't care about money and material possession.”

“People like you?”

“I’m not sure there’s anyone out there like me,” Kyungsoo laughed, “But that’s not necessarily a bad thing.”

Jongin scoffed at him, “I only need you anyway.”

The words had Kyungsoo’s heart skipping several beats before racing wildly when Jongin kissed him again (and again) until Kyungsoo whimpered each time Jongin’s tongue met his own.

Kyungsoo hadn’t been kissed this way in years, and though he knew he was stumbling blindly into dangerous territory, now that he’d _started_ kissing Jongin-

He wasn't sure he’d ever be able to stop.

*****


	6. Six.

*****

  In the days that followed, Kyungsoo found himself growing accustomed to – and incredibly fond of – sleeping in late despite the nightmares that plagued him sometimes and waking feeling warm and safe in the strong circle of Jongin’s arms, with the older man gazing at him fondly.

This particular morning through, was one of the rare occasions where Kyungsoo was awake first because Jongin almost never slept in, and watching him sleep he found himself thinking about all the things Jongin had told him about his family; it made Kyungsoo want to do something nice for him.

Made him want to show Jongin that he wasn't alone anymore either.

Climbing out of bed as quietly as he could, relieved when Jongin didn't so much as flinch, Kyungsoo headed into the kitchen still dressed only in his sleep shirt and briefs, where he set to work making scrambled eggs on toast, pancakes with syrup along with coffee for Jongin and tea for himself.

Pleased with his efforts, Kyungsoo arranged everything neatly on a large tray and headed back to the bedroom, to find Jongin just waking up, blinking at him sleepily.

“Where did you go?” Jongin asked, rubbing his eyes and sitting up slightly, his silver hair an adorable mess.

“I thought maybe you’d like breakfast in bed today.” Kyungsoo told him, kicking the door shut and crossing back over to the bed.

“Well it smells great, that’s for sure.”

“Hm, there’s a price for my good service though.” Kyungsoo told him cheekily.

A smirk curved Jongin’s lips, puffy from sleep, “And what price might that be?”

“A kiss.” Kyungsoo stated, setting the tray on the bed between them, “Or no breakfast for you.”

Jongin laughed and pulled Kyungsoo closer, being mindful of the food as he kissed him soundly, “Good morning angel.”

“It is now.” Kyungsoo smiled, kissing Jongin again before settling beside him properly, taking it upon himself to quite literally feed some of his breakfast to him, heart fluttering when Jongin wanted to reciprocate the action.

It was a strangely domestic – strangely _couple like_ – thing to do, but Kyungsoo couldn't bring himself to stop when he was enjoying every moment of being with Jongin like that.

A sudden gasp from Jongin pulled Kyungsoo from his thoughts, and he quickly realised that some syrup from a piece of pancake had dripped onto the bare skin of his pecs.

“Sorry.” Kyungsoo said, though he wasn't really sorry at all, and before Jongin could respond Kyungsoo leaned down, licking the sweet syrup from his flesh and revelling in the soft moan that fell from Jongin’s lips.

“Don't try to play innocent with me.” Jongin told him when he fluttered his eyelashes at him when he’d finished, “I already know you’re a tease.”

Kyungsoo smiled mischievously, “Ah but for me to be a tease Jongin, would mean I’d have to actually _be_ teasing you in some way,” he paused, deliberately dripping more syrup onto Jongin’s nipples straight from the bottle he’d brought with him, “Like that.”

“Don't start something you can’t finish, angel.”

Kyungsoo was already taking his time in _cleaning Jongin up_ , “Wouldn't dream of it.”

“You have a very talented mouth.” Jongin breathed, moaning louder this time when Kyungsoo shifted his attention to Jongin’s other nipple, already peaked and begging to be tasted.

“As I recall,” Kyungsoo purred, “So do you.”

Jongin laughed then, but it soon melted into a whine when Kyungsoo deliberately stopped there so that they could finish breakfast properly.

“Like I said- tease.” Jongin huffed, though there was a smile on his face.

He looked so content and happy in that moment that it made Kyungsoo smile too, made him proud that _he_ was the cause of that happiness; it was something Jongin definitely needed more of in his life, not just work and stress-

He most certainly didn't deserve to be so lonely all the time.

“I hope you enjoyed your breakfast.” Kyungsoo said when the tray had been banished to the floor out of the way.

Jongin smiled, kissing the corner of his mouth quickly before capturing his lips properly, “I did, I’m hoping for a very early dessert though.”

Laughing, Kyungsoo manoeuvred himself to sit between Jongin’s thighs, wincing when Jongin reached out to pull him down over him, hands running up his torso and causing pain to stab across his ribs.

Though his wounds and bruises were healing nicely, his ribs were still incredibly sore, oddly more so than his head.

“Kyungsoo-“ Jongin started, looking all kinds of guilty for hurting him.

“I’m fine.” Kyungsoo insisted, bending to kiss Jongin and frowning when he pulled away, “Don't you want-“

“You need to heal, angel.” Jongin told him quietly, tracing gentle fingers down his face, thumb stroking across his bottom lip, “And I won’t do anything to compromise that. I _am_ however making a tab of all the _teasing things_ you’re going to owe me- right now dessert is at the top of the list.”

Kyungsoo smiled, “I think I can handle that. But what if you forget I even owe you?”

“I never forget anything.” Jongin told him seriously, “Especially anything about you.”

“So romantic.” Kyungsoo hummed as Jongin helped him settle back down beside him.

“I’m pleased you think so.” Jongin said, and Kyungsoo flushed seven shades of red all at once because _he hadn’t meant to say that out loud_.

Jongin kissed him again then, and Kyungsoo marvelled at the way the whole world seemed to simply melt away, cease to exist as anything more than the two of them together.

“Thank you, Kyungsoo.” Jongin whispered when they had to separate to breathe.

Kyungsoo frowned, “What for?”

“For coming home to me.” Jongin smiled, “I missed you so much.”

“I missed you too.” Kyungsoo admitted, curling into Jongin’s side and sighing when the older man brought a hand up to card fingers through his hair, “And I wouldn't want to be anywhere else.”

After everything that Jongin had done for him, Kyungsoo wanted to be able to make him happy, even if it was only for a little while. After everything…Kyungsoo began to fear what would happen to him should he ever have to leave and let Jongin go, because in all honesty he was starting to wish he could just stay right there in that very moment-

Always.

*****

    Standing in the doorway of Jongin’s home office, Kyungsoo found himself watching the way the older man’s eyebrows knitted together as he frowned at his laptop, clicking away at something Kyungsoo couldn't see and huffing every few minutes.

Jongin was in a bad mood, had been most of the day.

Though he had stayed home with Kyungsoo as promised, it turned out that the company really did rely on him for pretty much everything, and so Jongin had been working from home far more often that he’d originally planned, especially as some sort of unexpected financial issue had cropped up that only Jongin could resolve.

Kyungsoo tried to reassure him that it meant his team felt they needed him in the centre to do their very best work; they valued him, but it hadn’t done much to lighten Jongin’s mood.

Jongin had only taken a break for lunch, that Kyungsoo had insisted on making: poached salmon in hollandaise sauce with steamed vegetables, and peach dumplings with cream for dessert. Jongin had clearly enjoyed his meal (he’d had second helpings) and it had made Kyungsoo proud that his cooking skills hadn’t really suffered for being without a proper place to live and therefore no means to cook anything.

It was nice, for about an hour, until Jongin had gone back to his work again, his mood growing more and more sour to the point that Kyungsoo had ended up just sat reading a book in the living room, trying not to listen to Jongin shouting down the phone at some poor member of staff for not being able to manage without him even for a couple of weeks.

Watching Jongin then, Kyungsoo decided he didn't like it when work stressed the older man out, he certainly didn't like him looking so down.

He wanted to make Jongin feel better, somehow.

Wandering into the office, Kyungsoo crossed to the desk and carefully closed the lid of Jongin’s laptop, unsurprised when the older man glared at him.

“What the hell do you think you’re doing?” Jongin snapped, “I’m _working!_ ”

“Yes, and it’s after midnight, you’ve been in a foul mood all day so whatever is going on can wait until morning,” Kyungsoo told him firmly, “Clearly it isn’t something that can be fixed overnight anyway-“

“I _was_ fixing things, until you interrupted.”

“Jongin ah, it’s late and I’m tired of seeing you look so stressed and upset,” Kyungsoo said softly, reaching out to trace his fingers over Jongin’s handsome face, “You’ll get wrinkles.”

Jongin chuckled, “So what do you propose I do- to stop these wrinkles, of course.”

“You let me make you feel better.”

“And how exactly do you intend to do that?” Jongin asked, quirking an eyebrow.

Kyungsoo smirked, “Well…” he started, slowly pushing down his own sweats until they pooled at his ankles and he kicked them aside, the loose grey shirt he was wearing falling to his mid-thigh, “I’m healing nicely and…”

“And?” Jongin urged, eyes darkening already when he realised where Kyungsoo was going with this.

Kyungsoo turned around, grasping the hem of his t-shirt and raising it enough that it just revealed the full curve of his ass, “I’m not wearing anything under here…and I want you to come to bed with me. Now.”

Not bothering to wait for a reply, Kyungsoo sauntered off to Jongin’s bedroom, deliberately sashaying his hips a little as he went; _that_ ought to get the older man’s attention.

Jongin followed only a few moments later, his shirt already unbuttoned and tie loose around his neck, smirking when he drank in the way Kyungsoo laid back against the pillows, shirt just barely covering his modesty.

“Like I’ve said before,” Jongin started as he shucked off his work pants before climbing onto the bed and over Kyungsoo, immediately sliding a hand between Kyungsoo’s thighs to palm at his already half-hard cock, “Tease.”

Kyungsoo didn't even try to bite back the moan that spilled from his lips, “And what are you going to do about it?”

Pushing apart Kyungsoo’s more than willing thighs, the smirk on Jongin’s face was pure sin, “I’m going to collect that tab.”

Reaching out to grasp the tie still hanging open around the older man’s neck, Kyungsoo pulled him down until their lips met in an open mouthed kiss that, filled with fire, spoke of nothing but undiluted desire.

Moaning into their kiss when Jongin pressed his body as close to Kyungsoo’s as physically possible, Kyungsoo arched up into the downward push of Jongin’s hips, the friction from the material of Jongin’s briefs against his bare cock sending him near crazy with want in scarcely more than a few minutes.

“Jongin ah.” Kyungsoo gasped when Jongin’s hands slid beneath the material of his shirt, caressing upwards over his quivering flesh until deft fingers were pinching and rolling at the hardened nubs of Kyungsoo’s nipples.

“I think it’s time this came off.” Jongin said, panting slightly as he gathered the material of Kyungsoo’s shirt, pushing it upwards until he could pull it off carefully and banish it to the bottom of the bed.

“Shit that feels good.” Kyungsoo praised when Jongin’s mouth replaced his hands, laving over Kyungsoo’s nipples in turn whilst rutting between his thighs harder still, “Yours too.” He breathed, the demand sounding more like a moan as he sat up as much as he could to shove Jongin’s shirt and tie off and out of the way as their lips met in another heated kiss.

Mapping kisses that were almost bruising in their intensity down the strong line of Jongin’s jaw, down his neck and across his shoulder, Kyungsoo loved the way the older man held him tight against him as their hips continued to rut together until they were both panting with exertion and so hard they were in danger of losing it already.

Not about to let that happen, Kyungsoo pushed Jongin away slightly, kissing the pout that formed on his lips before he could even so much as whine.

“Jongin ah, do you trust me?”

Jongin kissed him again, “With my life.”

“How about with your orgasm?” Kyungsoo asked, breathing through the emotion that swelled in his chest at Jongin’s words.

Jongin laughed softly, “Yes, with that too.”

“Good. Then lay down for me.” Kyungsoo told him, shifting out of the way so Jongin could do just that.

Retrieving the previously discarded tie, Kyungsoo quickly bound Jongin’s hands and tied them securely but not painfully to the iron bedframe.

_That’s what he gets for having such expensive taste_ , Kyungsoo thought wickedly.

Revelling in the way Jongin looked then, from the way his tan skin almost seemed to shimmer in the muted light of the room thanks to the light sheen of sweat coating it, to his obscenely tented briefs, barely concealing his cock that was so hard now the red, wet head had pushed clear of the elastic waistband.

“I think it’s time we took care of this,” Kyungsoo said softly, rubbing a thumb over the head of Jongin’s cock just to see him shudder with pleasure, “Don't you?”

“Yes!” Jongin cried out, “Please…fuck.”

Kyungsoo gasped as he peeled off Jongin’s damp briefs and discarded them, “Cursing now are we,” he smirked, “Naughty.”

Smirking when Jongin’s only response was another curse and a moan, Kyungsoo settled himself by the older man’s hips, gripping his cock firmly before merely swiping his tongue over the crown several times and loving the way it had Jongin soon pulling at his restraints and moaning mindlessly.

“Please angel,” Jongin pleaded, voice deep and raw with desire, “Suck me.”

Complying because honestly, he was addicted to Jongin’s musky taste and wanted nothing more than to please him, bring him pleasure, Kyungsoo swallowed down as much of Jongin’s thick shaft as he could without choking, pumping the base with his hand in tandem to his mouth just to drive him wild.

Only when he felt the tension in Jongin’s body ready to snap and he started to push his hips up against Kyungsoo’s mouth did he pull off Jongin’s cock, ignoring the throaty whine of protest he got in response in favour shifting position and settling himself over the older man’s thighs.

Bending his body forwards, Kyungsoo took his time in kissing and licking at every inch of the golden cream of Jongin’s skin, finding the taste of him nothing short of intoxicating.

“Kyungsoo…” Jongin moaned, all but writhing on the bed when Kyungsoo began grinding their hips together, weeping erections kissing and hands finding purchase on Jongin’s firm pecs, “You’re- _oh…_ good at this.”

Kyungsoo smirked, “I should hope so.” He said, moaning softly and unashamed to admit to himself that he loved the way their wet cocks slid together and the feel of his balls pressing firmly against Jongin’s every time he pushed his hips down harder.

It was beautiful, the way Jongin reacted to his every caress and the way he submitted to him- beautiful and empowering.

Nobody had ever given him that before.

Kyungsoo enjoyed teasing Jongin, loved the way he pouted each time he was refused a kiss and the way he stretched his bindings by trying to reach for him, until Kyungsoo relented and kissed his lover deeply, their tongues meeting in a way that had him knowing that he was never going to get enough of this.

“Fuck,” Jongin panted as he pulled away from their kiss, moaning when Kyungsoo rutted against him hard, “I’m going to come if you don't stop that.”

“No you won’t.” Kyungsoo told him, already reaching into the bedside drawer for condoms and lube, “I’m not finished with you yet.”

Locking eyes with the older man, Kyungsoo made a show of slicking up several fingers and raised himself up higher, teasing himself open and moaning Jongin’s name loudly as he gave into the pleasure of his own touch.

Jongin struggled against the restraint of his tie, “You’re killing me here, angel.”

“I hope not.” Kyungsoo purred, “I have to drive you crazy first.”

Sighing quietly as he eased his fingers out of himself, Kyungsoo quickly rolled the condom down Jongin’s shaft – more out of habit than actual necessity now – jerking him off a few times just to watch the way Jongin’s eyes rolled back and hips jerked erratically.

“Please Kyungsoo, just get on me.” Jongin begged, and this time Kyungsoo complied, settling himself over him, gripping Jongin’s cock in one hand to guide it inside his still tight opening.

They both moaned loudly into the otherwise quiet of the room, as Kyungsoo took every inch of Jongin’s cock, riding him slowly when his body began to spasm as it adjusted to the sudden stretch.

“You’re so beautiful.” Jongin praised as Kyungsoo started to bounce on Jongin’s cock, steadying himself by leaning backwards and gripping the older man’s thighs firmly, “You take my cock so well.”

“Jongin!” Kyungsoo cried out when the older man picked up the pace, thrusting upwards to match every downward push of Kyungsoo’s hips.

Bending forwards again so that he could kiss at the plush of Jongin’s mouth, Kyungsoo gripped Jongin’s wrists and pressed their hands against the pillows to keep Jongin from breaking his restraints.

“This is the sweetest kind of torture,” Jongin panted, nipping first at Kyungsoo’s lips, then his jaw, “But not touching you really is driving me crazy."

Kyungsoo’s response to that was to ride Jongin harder, faster, pulling off almost all the way before slamming back down with an almost obscene moan; he was too lost in pleasure to care about what he sounded like.

“Kyungsoo _please_ \- just let me touch you.”

“Do you promise to let me keep control?” Kyungsoo asked, slowing his movements to a slow rock that had them both desperate for more.

“Right now I’d promise you anything.” Jongin told him, making Kyungsoo laugh softly.

Relenting, Kyungsoo unbound Jongin’s wrists, gasping when the older man immediately sat up and wrapped his arms around him, holding him securely as Kyungsoo wrapped his legs around Jongin’s waist.

Bones melting to honey, there was a storm surging beneath every inch of Kyungsoo’s skin when Jongin kissed at his neck and collarbones just the way he _knew_ he loved, and Kyungsoo tugged hard at the liquid mercury of Jongin’s hair, oblivion growing closer by the second.

“Close, Kyungsoo.” Jongin warned when Kyungsoo raised himself up slightly higher to sink back onto Jongin’s cock harder than before, loving the way the older man moaned his name over and over like it was his favourite thing in the world to say.

“Come for me, Jongin.” Kyungsoo ordered, satisfied when Jongin’s hips stilled only seconds later.

“I- _oh_ …I love you.” Jongin panted as he climaxed without any further warning, reaching between their sweaty bodies to fist Kyungsoo’s cock hard, clearly wanting to bring him to orgasm before he softened inside him.

“Jongin!” Kyungsoo cried out, coming hot and hard between them before collapsing against Jongin’s body, exhausted.

Jongin squeezed him tightly, “You’re the most amazing person I’ve ever met.”

Kyungsoo laughed softly, a sound that became a gasp as he eased himself off Jongin’s cock and discarded the condom for him, throwing it into the conveniently placed waste paper bin.

“Well…you don't get out much.”

This time it was Jongin’s turn to laugh, “If we keep this up I may never go out again…and I wouldn't care in the slightest either.”

Kyungsoo smiled, kissing his pleasure swollen lips softly before moving from on top of him so they could curl up in bed together, sweaty and exhausted, but completely sated.

“The way I feel right now,” Kyungsoo started quietly as he cuddled up against Jongin’s chest, “I’ve never felt before with anyone.” He sighed when Jongin wrapped his arms around him and kissed his damp hair affectionately, “I’ve missed feeling like somebody really cares about me.”

“I will always care about you, Kyungsoo.” Jongin told him, and Kyungsoo believed him, pressed a kiss to his bare skin in the hope of conveying just how much those words meant to him.

How much _Jongin_ meant to him.

“They were returning from a holiday to Europe when I lost them,” Kyungsoo spoke against Jongin’s chest, “Would have just been able to see the airport through the windows when the planes engines failed. Nobody knew why the whole thing blew…there shouldn't have been enough fuel left to cause such a huge explosion.”

Though Jongin’s breath hitched, he didn't speak, just ran a comforting hand up and down the length of Kyungsoo’s back as he spilled secrets of his past he’d never told anybody.

“I would’ve been on that plane too had I not insisted on staying home, studying to _make it big_ because I had some auditions coming up.” Kyungsoo confessed, tears in his eyes but unable to stop now he’d started, “I lost my entire family that day, and for years I wished I’d been on that place with them. After that I couldn't afford to keep the family home, couldn't even sell it because it wasn't privately owned, instead I sold most of our belongings and moved to a small apartment here in Seoul. I never had any other family that I knew of, but things were fine for a while- until of course I ran out of money _and_ dreams, waiting tables in a café and dreaming of impressive sets and movie premieres. Stupid.”

“My landlord was a jerk,” Kyungsoo continued before Jongin could reprimand him for berating himself, “Sleazy, and when the café closed down and I lost my job I quickly couldn't keep up with the rent. He wanted me to start giving him and his friends sexual favours in return for a roof over my head.”

“Of course I refused, lost most of my possessions in the months that followed to make ends meet, but in the end I’d been kicked out and with no friends to turn to…I ended up on the street.” Kyungsoo sighed sadly at the memory, “I’d _had_ friends, but they were nowhere to be found when I really needed somebody- they all had their own lives to deal with and didn't want me _free loading_.”

He laughed hollowly, “I should have just fucked my sleazy landlord for all the good it had done me not to- I ended up a whore anyway.”

Kyungsoo hadn’t really realised he’d been crying until Jongin was tilting his head up and brushing his tears away, eyes full of love and compassion he’d never seen before, “You’re so brave, baby,” Jongin told him, pressing a soft kiss to his trembling lips, “And I’m so proud of you for telling me your past.”

The new endearment made Kyungsoo’s heart flutter, “So you don't…think less of me now?”

Jongin shook his head “Kyungsoo if anything it makes me love you more, makes me more grateful than ever that I was lucky enough to meet you.”

“Jongin you don't know how much I wish I could-“

“Ssh, you don’t have to explain yourself angel,” Jongin told him, though Kyungsoo saw the sadness in the bottomless blue of his eyes when he didn't say _I love you too_ , “I just want you to know that every moment of your past, from the day you lost your family to the night you came back here after fighting off that monster-“ he paused and kissed Kyungsoo softly, “you can move beyond them because it’s _over_ now, the storm has passed and I want to be right there with you to help you rebuild what you thought was lost.”

Tears spilled down Kyungsoo’s face once more, but he found himself smiling when Jongin kissed them away, “I’ve never met anybody quite like you Kim Jongin,” Kyungsoo said quietly, “And I know I’ve told you before, but I’ll never regret falling asleep in your car that night.”

Jongin kissed him properly then, “Me neither.”

They settled down for sleep not long after that, and though Kyungsoo felt like some kind of long burdened weight had been lifted from inside of him, he couldn't sleep.

Instead he lay there with Jongin in his arms, mind racing with all the things that had been said and done, all the ways his and Jongin’s lives had always been different, and how different they were still. Despite spending all this time turning a blind eye to the _something_ growing inside of him every day, right now as he watched Jongin sleep soundly it refused to be ignored a second longer.

Kyungsoo knew now, with perfect clarity, he didn't just _care_ for Jongin- he’d gone and fallen in love with him.

He should have realised sooner, should have known what the feeling was, echoing around his body each time Jongin smiled, each time he touched him or looked at him with so much love in his own eyes it could have blinded them both. Kyungsoo had wanted to be loved by Jongin, loved so that he could _finally_ give it in return.

He’d never been more terrified.

Kyungsoo was so afraid to let himself truly love Jongin, to give himself over completely only for everything to fall apart later on and leave him more desolate than he was before.

Shaken to the core and so _confused_ despite being perfectly calm mere moments ago, Kyungsoo couldn't stand it a second longer, and so he did the same thing he always did-

He ran.

In his blind panic of needing to get out of bed, dressed and out of the apartment without waking Jongin, Kyungsoo hadn’t even noticed it was raining until he was halfway down the street, but there was a storm thundering across the sky above him, and he shivered in the cold; he hadn’t even dared stop long enough to pull on a jacket.

Kyungsoo had no idea what he was doing or where he was going, but he had to get away from the desire, the want, the constant _yearning_ that crawled over his skin every time he looked at Jongin; he had to outrun his fear before it consumed him.

Even if hearts were broken along the way- they shouldn't be so damned fragile and breakable.

“Kyungsoo what’re you doing!” Jongin’s voice shouted behind him, and Kyungsoo spun around to see Jongin stood there, dressed haphazardly in a white t-shirt and blank pants, “Why are you running out on me _again_?”

“Because I have to.” Kyungsoo snapped, storming across the road and into the park they'd walked through together on more than one occasion, unsurprised when Jongin followed.

Grasping his arm tightly, Jongin pulled Kyungsoo around to face him, “Where are you going?”

“Back to where I belong.”

“Kyungsoo you belong with me-“

“No I _don't_!” Kyungsoo shouted over the rain, tears on his face, “I had to leave because we don't fit together.

Blazing like blue fire, Jongin’s eyes were a wild storm Kyungsoo would never be able to completely take shelter from, “You know I don't give a damn about that Kyungsoo- I _love_ you, how many times do I have to tell you before you’ll believe me?”

“Don't, don't say that to me.” Kyungsoo pleaded, trying to pull himself free, “Please…”

“Why not? Do you not care for me at all?” Jongin asked, looking as hurt and lost as Kyungsoo felt, “You told me once that you don't kiss on the mouth because it’s an intimacy shared between people who are in love- you’ve been kissing me a hell of a lot lately Kyungsoo, was that a lie too?”

“Jongin how can you say- how can you even _think_ that?” Kyungsoo cried, “You know I wish I could tell you how much you mean to me.”

“Then _tell_ me, Kyungsoo I don't understand. You say that you care about me and yet you leave in the middle of the night, and even now-“ Jongin paused, taking a deep breath to steady himself, “I’m standing here with my fucking heart in my hands, offering it to you freely and still it’s not enough for you…what else do you _want_?”

“Jongin I want to love you more than I want to take my next breath but I _can’t_!” Kyungsoo shouted, drenched by the rain and shivering violently, “You have to understand-“

“No _you_ have to understand Kyungsoo,” Jongin snapped, tears spilling down his face and mixing with the driving rain, “You have to understand that I can’t live like this anymore. Do you think I planned this Kyungsoo? Do you think I _intended_ to fall in love with somebody I barely knew? I didn't, but it happened and I’ve never tried to fight it- I _can’t_ fight it.”

Before Kyungsoo could even think of what to say to that, Jongin was closing the distance between them, capturing his lips in a kiss that was full of more love and passion that he’d ever hoped to have in his life, and he was powerless to do anything other than give in to it when Jongin crowded him up against the nearest tree.

“We shouldn't do this…we _can’t_ do this.” Kyungsoo whispered, but even as the words left his trembling lips he was stroking a hand down the front of Jongin’s shirt, fingers tracing the muscle visible beneath the wet material, feeling out ever dip, every curve, every quiver and every shaky breath he took as he went.

“Why not?” Jongin asked, voice breathy, full of want, need and the underlying hurt he was now trying so hard to hide, “Are you still afraid?”

“Yes.” Kyungsoo gasped as Jongin kissed his way down his neck and onto his collarbone, “Yes I’m afraid.”

“Of what? Of the world out there?” Jongin asked, the question sharp as he pulled away slightly to look at him, “Are you afraid of me?”

“No Jongin ah,” Kyungsoo breathed, stroking a hand down his handsome face, “I’m afraid that in wanting you the way I do, if I give in now, if we truly start this…then I fear I may never be able to stop.”

Jongin kissed him hard, “Then don't stop, I don't ever want you to stop wanting me. I love you so much Kyungsoo just- come home with me, please.”

“Jongin please-“ Kyungsoo started, already shaking his head.

Jongin suddenly threw his hands up and took several steps backwards, looking more defeated than Kyungsoo had ever seen before.

“Jongin what’re you doing?” Kyungsoo asked worriedly, heart pounding wildly and out of time, gripped in an icy fist of fear.

“Surrendering.” Jongin said simply, “I’ve told you the way I feel Kyungsoo, given you everything I have to offer- but I can’t make you stay with me if you don't want to, can’t make you love me if you don't.”

“Jongin no don't go, wait please.” Kyungsoo sobbed, rushing after him when he turned to leave, “I’m sorry I’m so sorry, I’m just afraid okay?” he rambled, rushing out in front of Jongin and forcing him to stop, “I’m terrified that if I open my mouth to tell you how I truly feel then my whole fucking heart will come out and then once you’ve seen all I have to offer you…you won’t want me anymore.”

“But I _do_ want you, I want you so badly I’d do anything to have you- to keep you.” Jongin told him, “Kyungsoo if you asked it of me I’d sell the company, move out of the city, the country even if it would make you happy- I love you so much it hurts to not be with you.”

“Our lives have always been so different.” Kyungsoo said, stepping closer to the older man, “Even before I ended up on the streets with nothing but my body to offer somebody.”

“Look at us Kyungsoo.” Jongin said, gesturing to the way both of them were soaked through with the rain that was still pouring, “What’s so different about us right now?” he continued when that statement had Kyungsoo unable to speak, “So I’m asking you one last time angel, do you love me?”

“I need you to come with me.” Kyungsoo said in way of an answer, ignoring the way Jongin’s face fell and tugging him along with him, “Now.”

“Kyungsoo where are we going?” Jongin shouted above the rain as they ran down the streets together, “Shouldn't we at least have gotten the car? We’re going to get sick out here!”

Kyungsoo didn't answer, merely kept going until his lungs burned and his legs shook, and by the time he reached the business district, the downpour had eased, leaving them panting on the sidewalk and Jongin looking more confused than ever.

“What’re we doing here?”

Kyungsoo smiled, taking both of Jongin’s hands in his and stepping closer to him, “This is where you saved me from _Mr Navy Suit,_ do you remember?”

“I could never forget.” Jongin told him, droplets of water dripping from his fringe as he flicked it out of his face.

“Instead of walking away from you then,” Kyungsoo started, voice quiet but sure, “I should have kissed you.”

“Kissed me…but why?”

“Because that was when I started to fall in love with you.” Kyungsoo confessed the secret that had been wrapped around his heart like a vine, “The very first time we met…and I haven’t stopped falling since.”

Jongin’s eyes filled with tears, “You mean-“

“I love you, Jongin.” Kyungsoo told him, louder this time, “And I swear you’ll never have to doubt my feelings for you again. You don't need to give anything up for me, because there will be no more running, I love you more than anything.”

Seconds later Jongin was kissing him, hard, deep, and full of all the emotions they would never be able to put into words, because those emotions had to be _felt_. Something inside Kyungsoo shifted then, as though an hourglass had been turned over, causing the sands of time to pour backwards, reconnecting them in a way that would have terrified him until now, fixing fragments of his soul so deep inside he hadn’t even realised they were broken.

“Do you want to know a secret?” Jongin breathed against his lips when they finally found the will to separate.

“Sure.” Kyungsoo said, smiling when the older man wrapped his arms around him tightly and whispered right into his ear.

“You weren’t the only one already falling, angel.”

“Jongin ah?” Kyungsoo questioned, pushing up onto his toes to rub his nose against Jongin’s affectionately.

“Hm?”

“Take me home.” Kyungsoo said, and the brilliant smile Jongin gave him (as well as another kiss) had him _finally_ knowing that the choice he’d just made was exactly the right one.

Maybe they hadn’t truly weathered the storm; maybe they were simply standing in the eye of it with more destruction still to come their way. But for the first time in his life Kyungsoo found that with Jongin by his side, he didn't really care, he finally realised that he didn't need bricks and mortar to build a house to call his own.

Because standing right there in the safety and warmth of Jongin’s arms, Kyungsoo wasn't simply free-

He was already _home_.

**~*~**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always, cookies for anybody who made it this far ^^ I hope you enjoyed this fic despite the angst! When it was posted the first time I had a few people asking whether there would be a sequel but I wasn't sure if there would be any point. What do you think? Would you like to see more of Kyungsoo and Jongin's relationship? Let me know ♡♡

**Author's Note:**

> This fic might be a little messy in places, I haven't really edited it since it was first posted for kaisoommer. There are probably some things I could change, but then I'd probably never stop editing at all haha. I hope you like it anyway! ♡♡


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